Flesh is a trap and magic sets us free
by Thecricketsarecalling
Summary: Based on the film Lord Of Illusions
1. Swann Vs Nix

"Flesh is a trap…and magic sets us free."

_**13 years ago - The Mojave Desert 1983**_

_The two vehicles came to a stop outside of the abandoned factory. After a few seconds four teenagers emerged. The four of them had known each other for nearly two years. All started off the same…runaways, living on the streets, barely able to survive. All seeing no hope in sight until Nix found them. All of that time following him, their beliefs thrown away. There was a world underneath all of this, a world of power and magic. Things they never thought could happen were shown to them. They saw truth in Nix's words and thought perhaps he might even be more powerful then God himself._

_Finally that changed._

_Swann stepped out, his shoulder length hair blowing behind him. Hearing his boots crunch against the pebbles and sand, he took a deep breath. He was the one who finally saw what Nix was doing. That he was a madman and had to be stopped. He wasn't using his power to discover things…he used it to destroy. He knew Nix had became fond of him. Out of everyone else who worshiped him, he somehow stood out. He was nothing more then a deadbeat teenager who seemed to have gotten lost in this world. He had no family or life to return to. Somehow Nix showed him a power that seemed to great, he saw the danger in it. He became close with Nix, learning his power as others watched. He knew those like Butterfield were jealous. He was the chosen one, he was the one that Nix wanted to rule the world with._

_Then finally it hit him, he wasn't learning these powers for any certain reason. He was learning them to bring evil until the world. The same evil that made him live on the streets since he was thirteen. Finally he saw a different side of Nix, a side that terrified him._

_So he left._

_A few agreed with him. They knew Nix was crazy and bound to harm others. So they took off into the night, planning on what they would do next. For the past two years they had been their entire life. What could they do now?_

_Then Swann heard of Nix kidnapping a child._

_This wasn't a follower. It was a little girl. Taken away in the night to be used for one of Nix's powers. To be sacrificed. It didn't matter to Nix if he harmed a child…he saw it was blood that needed to be spilled._

_Having slept on it, Swann finally got the others to return. He had read up on finally stopping him. It had to be done…before it was too late. Walking forward, he tried to be strong. But the truth was…he was scared to death._

"_Are we ready?"_

_Jennifer hid her gun into her jeans before eyeing Swann in a nervous manner. Swann knew Jennifer liked him. In fact the first night he was taken in by Nix, she crawled over to him as everyone was sleeping and introduced herself. She had been there longer them him and was at least five years older. Both slowly became friends, and as soon as things began to make Swann uneasy, nearly two years later…she was the first to agree. Both had done their research on binding Nix. They had to use Swann's power he developed to stop him. The cult would be lost without their leader…and maybe, just maybe it would be over._

_Swann had slept with Jennifer a few times. It was mostly just sex between the two of them. In fact nearly everyone in the cult slept with each other. Nix believed that flesh should be shared, to create power. Swann wished he felt the same way about Jennifer as she did. But he just couldn't. Somehow something was missing in his heart, something in which hurt so badly he couldn't stand it. He wished she didn't agree with him so much. She was risking her like coming with him today._

"_Look, maybe we should think this over?"_

_Pimm said as she lifted her handgun. The four of them all began walking forward, their eyes darting back and forth, clutching their weapons. Swann checked the bullets in his gun._

"_He's gone too far…"_

"_So he took a kid…"_

_Jennifer turned around, shooting her eyes at Pimm._

"_He's gonna kill her!"_

_Quaid, another friend of Swann's who escaped raised his shotgun._

"_If he gets inside our fucking heads, he'll drive us crazy."_

_Swann felt his pulse begin to build up before snapping around._

"_SO STAY OUT HERE!"_

_Quaid and Pimm froze as Swann stood there, the wind blowing against him. Jennifer moved forward and attempted to slip her hand into his. Swann moved away from her reach. He didn't mean to be cruel to his friends. They were the ones that followed him. They were the ones who knew Nix was dangerous and were taking his risk to save the child. He hated treating Jennifer like this. Even though the night before, after everyone was planned out. They took rooms in a small beaten down motel nearly fifty miles away. Jennifer came to his room, just after midnight. Seeing him awake, the two sat on the bed, talking about what would happen if Nix really did try to turn on them. Try to show them all those awful images and truths he spoke about. They were betraying a madman, and most likely wouldn't survive. There the two of them had sex. It was silent, and empty of any emotion. Once Swann finished, he turned over, putting his back to her as she slowly dressed and left him. On the ride down, he softly told her that he wasn't planning on staying with her once this was over…if they lived._

_She looked forward as they drove before slowly nodding. She told him she understood he didn't love her, that she was drawn to him and felt as if she was dying whenever they were around each other. She told him it was just something about him…maybe that's why Nix picked him. He was different then the others. Looking over for a moment, he nodded. They agreed that if they lived, they would all go their separate ways. Jennifer then told him how sorry she was for everything._

"_For what?"_

"_For falling in love with you…"_

_Swann couldn't look at her, clutching the steering wheel, he drove on._

_Now the four of them stood outside, before Quaid blinked. Swann turned back around and began walking again. Slowly the others followed. _

_Once inside, a chill went through the air. Sand was littered on the winding floors. Wind screamed outside as dim candle light showed off the gothic paintings on the wall. The four of them kept walking, waiting for anyone to pop out._

_Swann paused in the main hallway. For a moment he remembered this had been his home._

"_Look around, if you see the girl yell."_

_Swann then went forward to where Nix slept. His heart pounding._

_Thoughts began to go towards the last two years. How much it felt like a family, this psychopathic leader Nix as their father. The things he was shown, and the power he was given. Everything, all this time was now shattered. He had to stop this before it was too late._

_Thinking of the girl, he prayed she wasn't dead. Finally he found the opening of the room. Pieces of plaster and wood falling apart. Pointing his gun forward, his arms shaking. He stepped into Nix's room. Looking around he saw everything he had seen, so many nights in the dark learning his ways. The two of them, gaining power together. Did Nix love him? Perhaps he did. He remembered all those times, learning the powers and secrets of the world, as Nix's old gray eyes studied him._

_Then he hear the cries. Freezing he turned around to see the girl, tied up and huddled into the coroner of the room. Her long dirty blond hair hanging in her face. Bloody scratch marks on her legs as she shook. _

_Swann looked at her, before lowering his gun. That's when that empty feeling in his heart suddenly went away. He couldn't explain what it felt like looking at this young girl, but seeing her, so helpless and afraid made him feel as if he could really do this. Fear went away as he walked forward, falling to his knees and taking the tied cloth out of her mouth._

"_Please help me…"_

_She wept. Philip held her, touching her beautiful and soft face as tears ran down it. Both locked eyes. Her brown ones, and his sparking blue ones. For a moment, Swann felt time stand still. _

"_Your gonna be okay…"_

_The girl looked at him as he held her, both of their eyes locked together._

"_Okay?"_

_Slowly he heard a creaking behind him. The girl then looked past his shoulder and screamed. Swann turned around and saw Nix hanging on the structure of animal bones and rags. Hanging there, mid air…the fear came crashing back. The girl ducked down, crying as she turned away. Slowly without no feeling, Swann stood up as Nix smiled at him._

"_I knew you would come…I've got so much power to give you Swann." "All you have to do is beg."_

_Swann felt his heart begin to race. Goosebumps broke out all over his body as he stared at his past master. Hair hanging in his face, his eyes went wide as he looked at him._

"_Fuck out."_

_Nix smirked._

"_You don't think I got it to give?"_

"_No…"_

"_Your wrong!"_

_His words roared through the empty room, before he went flying towards him. Swann didn't even get a chance to think or lean down and pick up his gun. Nix crashed him into the wall, his hands wrapping around his throat. _

"_I COULD EAT YOUR FUCKING SOUL!"_

_Swann gasped for air, the pain in his throat burning. In the distance he thought he heard Jennifer scream. It was all over…He thought to himself._

_Nix smiled, pinning him down before brushing his hair away._

"_How would you like to see the world as it really is?" "You must see flesh with God's eyes."_

_Slowly an awful burning pain went into Swann's head. Within seconds everything almost turned to black. His eyes burned as he felt completely numb. Laying against the wall, the room began to spin._

"_Swann?"_

_Quaid called out. Nix then pushed him forward out of the shadows._

"_Here he is…"_

_Swann was barley able to stand on his own two feet. _

"_Take a look Swann…"_

_Jennifer and Quaid stood there._

"_These are your friends…"_

_Swann blinked, his stomach tossing. There he saw Quaid and Jennifer slowly began to melt. An awful terrifying change happened. All human features went away. A mix of darkness of dripping mud appeared. Swann's heart started to hurt, he kept blinking but these monsters before him wouldn't go away. The dripping mess hissed at him._

_Swann cried out, trying to hit them. He needed it to go away, everything was spinning. He was going crazy…was this what he would see for now on. Blinded but the shield of flesh?_

"_NO!"_

_He cried out, bending over and holding himself as he shook. Sweat dripped off him before Jennifer stepped closer._

"_What have you done to him?" "Swann?"_

_She tried to come closer, touch him._

_Swann pushed her away._

"_DON'T TOUCH ME, HE GOT INSIDE MY HEAD!"_

_The mess, which had Jennifer's voice fell to the ground. _

"_Do you wanna be like that Swann…mud, shit?"_

_Swann swung his arms at the air. The pain and sight wouldn't go away._

"_Come here…"_

_Nix held out his arms._

_Slowly Swann turned around._

"_Share the power…"_

_An awful energy began to feed into him. Nix was giving something to Swann, something dangerous and strong. The waves of energy kept going into him. Feeling his eyes burning even more, he stood back helpless. _

_Then…_

_The sound went off, for a brief second Swann thought Quaid's shotgun had fired. Standing there, the energy stopped flowing into him. Nix's face morphed into the closest thing Swann could describe as hell. Frozen he stood there, before blood began to appear on Nix's shirt. Falling to the ground, the burning disappeared and the ugliness and monsters turned back into his friends. Taking a second, he saw the little girl with the gun._

_She had been the one who shot Nix. Standing there, she cried out and dropped the gun._

_Swann turned away for a second before Nix struggled to stand up. Moaning, he clutched his bleeding wound. Just then shots were fired. Once from Quaid, the other from Jennifer. Causing Nix to fall._

"_Swann…help me…"_

_Swann turned, now seeing clearly. Nix was down…this was his chance._

"_Bag."_

_Within seconds Jennifer tossed it to him. Kneeling down on Nix's body, he took out the tools he was given to Nix nearly a year before hand. Tools which had been around for centuries. Tools in which stopped and undead from returning. Nix told him these were tools they could use in the future._

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Binding you…"_

_Swann took out the metal pieces before placing them on Nix's face. Biting into the thin flesh of his thumb, he felt warmth began to dribble down._

"_You little shit!"_

_Placing his blood on the screws, they began to bind inwards. Nix screamed out as the metal was sealed on his face._

"_This isn't over Swann!"_

_Swann then placed the final piece. Making his blood seal it._

_Nix's words were now muffled, and silence came over the room. Moving for a few seconds, he finally stopped._

_It was finished._

_Nix was dead._

_Pimm slowly walked forward into the room, her eyes on the body._

_Slowly Swann stood up as everyone circled around. _

"_Is he dead?"_

_Pimm walked forward before Quaid nodded. In the background, they heard a dog barking._

"_Dead…"_

_The little girl slowly walked beside Swann, her small white dress covered in dirt and blood._

"_What do we do now?"_

_Jennifer softly said. Looking up, Swann stared at his friends. Here he was, nineteen years old, and had stopped this evil force. The same force that gave him power, and showed him the truth of magic and life. He couldn't harm anyone else…it was finished._

"_We bury him so deep…no one will never find him."_

_The little girl began crying again, holding her hands to her face. Swann looked down at her and felt that strong protecting feeling drift through him. Slowly he put his arm around her, trying his hardest to sooth her._

_From across, Jennifer eyed them before dropping her eyes._

_Swann knew it over. Turning away, his arm still tightly around the girl, they walked out._


	2. A kiss

Swann, Jennifer, Pimm, and Quaid all stood together in a circle as the sun began to set. The sky was turning a beautiful fire red color, as dashes of gold and purple began to fade in with the stars. They knew the desert, this had been their home. Standing there as the cooler breeze went past them, the four of them had a strange understanding. A few feet away were the thrown shovels and picks. For the last three hours they dug, nearly twelve feet into the ground before they hit rock. There they tossed their once master's lifeless body into the ground. Nothing happened, so scares…no magic.

It was really over.

Now, the unmarked grave covered up…they knew it would never be found. This was their secret, and as long as they lived, it would stay hidden.

Swann was in the middle of buttoning his shirt up, it the desert heat while digging, the men peeled off their sweat soaked shirts and tossed them to the side. Now here they were, barley able to look at each other.

"So…I guess it's over."

Pimm said before looking up at everyone.

Jennifer, her hand now wrapped up nodded.

"What…what if somebody finds him?"

Pimm said, her voice slowly breaking up.

Swann shook his head.

"He won't…"

"But…"

"He won't, I promise you all."

Everyone looked at Swann before glancing over at the parked car and van.

"Now what?"

"We go our separate ways, life our life's and try to forget about all this."

"You mean we'll never see each other again?"

"No, we will…but not for awhile."

"What about the girl?"

Quaid motioned towards the car. Swann looked over, the sun now slowly going down as a stillness went into the air. In the distance crickets began to softly chirp.

"I guess I'll find someplace for her."

"She doesn't have family?"

"Did we?"

Quaid looked down before nodding.

"All right then…"

Swann let out his hand and shook Quaid's. Turning, he faced Pimm who barley waved before following Quaid to the van. Then Jennifer and Swann looked at each other.

"How's your hand?"

Jennifer held it up, the cloth bleeding through.

"Fine, I'll go to a hospital once we hit the city."

"You sure your gonna be all right?"

Jennifer softly smiled before walking forward, both looked at each other.

"I wish I could go with you, but I know I can't."

Swann nodded as Jennifer blushed.

"So…I guess this is goodbye."

"For now."

"For now."

Faintly smiling, Jennifer turned away and joined Quaid and Pimm. A few moments later the engine was started. Swann stood there before waving as they turned around and headed towards the road. Standing there, hands now stuffed in his jean pockets, he turned and glanced down at the unmarked grave.

An awful feeling washed over him before he turned around and walked over to his car. Looking in, he saw the girl sprawled out across the front seat sleeping. Pausing, Swann looked in before opening the door. Right away she shot up, her eyes big. After a few seconds she looked over at Swann before sinking back into the passenger seat.

"You okay?"

Swann asked, sitting behind the wheel, shutting the door. The girl then looked out the windshield at the now empty and slowly darkening desert.

"Did…did you bury him?"

Swann nodded.

The girl sat back, a silent tear running down her face. Swann started the engine before looking over at her.

"What's your name?"

The girl looked over.

"Dorothea, what's yours?"

Her voice was barley able to hear, scared and weak.

"Philip…Philip Swann."

Dorothea looked at him before Swann turned the car around and began driving on the road.

"Is it over?"

Swann nodded.

"I think so."

"Where did everyone go?"

"They decided to split up for awhile, might be good."

"Why?"

"Well, Nix had a lot of people who followed him, I'm sure their pretty lost and angry about what happened."

"Do you think they might come after us?"

Swann shook his head.

"They know better then that, anyways without Nix…their helpless."

"I hope your right…"

Swann turned his headlights on as they began driving down the bumpy road.

"You were a member of his, weren't you?"

"Yeah…I was."

"For how long?"

"Two years…"

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen, what about you?"

"Twelve…"

"Do you have any family?" "A mother…a father?"

Dorothea shook her head.

"No…I was living in a home for kids like me, you know the ones who don't have parents."

"How long did you live there?"

"Not long, us foster kids get moved around a lot."

"Do you remember your parents?"

Dorothea shook her head.

"Yeah…we too."

"Were…were you homeless?"

"Close towards it, then I met Nix…"

"What made you do this?"

"What?"

"Turn on him…kill him."

Swann bit his lower lip. In all honest truth he knew it would take too long to even begin to tell her this. Glancing over, he saw how scared and filthy she looked. Here she was just a child and witness all this.

"I…I was very close with Nix, he showed me a lot of his power before I saw he was using it for evil, then I heard about you, and I knew he needed to be stopped."

"You saved my life…"

"I think you saved mine, that was very brave of you."

Dorothea looked down at her dirty hands. Another tear fell.

"Is he ever going to come back?"

"No…he won't."

"Thank you…"

Swann looked over as he drove, her beautiful brown eyes looking at him. So pure, so young.

"Now what?"

"We drive…into the night."

"Where?"

"Someplace safe…"

Setting back in her seat, she closed her eyes. Glancing over at her, Swann sighed. His hands had blisters on them from digging so much. Looking forward at the dark desert road…he drove on.

The next day, dawn came early. Philip drove through the empty waste lands of the desert. Replaying those awful events over and over in his head. He knew for the rest of his life, he would have nightmares about what he saw.

Finally Dorothea woke up. Swann gave her the rest of what was left in a water bottle that was thrown in his back seat. She hadn't spoken much since. He kept driving, as she looked out the window.

This time Dorothea's thoughts began to drift.

Driving along the lone desert road, everything looked the same. Between the sound of the howling wind, and the static filled radio that drifted in and out of old rock and roll stations, the silence could drive anyone crazy. She didn't know where she was going or what was going to happen to her. Everything seemed like an awful nightmare that had happened to someone else. She was all alone, her parents, her family…everyone gone.

Dorothea?

Suddenly the young girl's daydream disappeared. Looking over she saw the man who had saved her. He sat in the driver's seat and had a concerned look spread across his face. His long brown hair kept dancing across his sparking and striking blue eyes. Dorothea thought he had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen before.

Yeah?

She cleared her dry throat, she felt exausted after everything. In fact they had been on the road the entire night. Once and awhile she would nod off, her neck strained in a very uncomfortable position until the car would hit a pothole and skid against some pebbles. Every time she would wake with a start, thinking she was back there, tied and helpless as the devil laughed down at her. Instead she always found herself sitting beside him, watching his blue eyes look straight ahead, so serious and so worried. After everything that happened yesterday, she was surprised he hadn't fallen over from exhaustion. She watched him along with the others as they buried the man who nearly killed her, the man who would stay in her deepest fears forever. She watched him as he dug, shoveling piles of dirt for hours until finally they threw the body into the darkness. After that they all went their ways…

She stayed with him.

You okay?

Dorothea slowly nodded, something about this man made her feel funny. It wasn't an unsettling feeling it was…the feeling of being safe. She understood how much he had risked saving her, now what was going to happen?

I'm fine…but could we stop soon, I need to use the bathroom.

Swann nodded before looking ahead.

Yeah me too…I'll find one as soon as I can.

Dorothea nodded before looking back out the window. Just then finally a station was picked up on the radio to be heard loud enough. Dorothea smiled before looking over at him.

I like this song…

Swann glanced over at her, faintly smiling.

You do?

Dorothea smiled, something she thought she would never do again.

It's like you.

How's that?

Well the song is about angels…you kind of saved me like one.

Swann softy smiled before looking ahead again.

Yeah right…I'm no angel.

But you saved me.

Looking over again Swann tried to smile as Dorothea looked back out the window at the passing desert.

Here we are.

Swann said as he parked the car. Dorothea squinted and saw the small gas station. Slowly getting out, she sighed with relief as her legs stretched. Swann quickly came around to her and they both began walking out back.

Okay meet you in a few minutes…

Nodding, Dorothea entered the small restroom with had dim light drifting through from the back windows. Walking across the dusty floors, she finally found a stall. Closing the door, she took a deep breath and thought of Swann again, and those beautiful blue eyes.

PHILIP!

Swann heard as he stood zipping himself up in the small men's room. Right away his heart jumped, Nix he thought and nearly fell forward into the door as he raced to Dorothea's helpless cries.

I'M COMING!

Kicking open the other restroom door, he saw her curled up against the wall, tears dripping down her face as she shook.

Breathing hard, his eyes darted around for any danger. One of Nix's followers might had come. Tracing the room, he finally saw it.

Drips of blood, a trail leading to her as she hugged herself around her knees and slowly rocked back and forth.

Dorothea?

Right away he rushed over, skidding as he kneeled down beside her. Reaching over, he touched her hot feverish hands as she wept.

What's wrong?

I'm bleeding!

She cried.

Where?

Swann then looked down again and saw where the blood was coming from. Biting his bottom lip he tried to search for the words. He really didn't know much about this stuff, and she seemed so young. Looking down he then reached over again and softly touched her face.

Shhhh…it's all right.

Dorothea glanced up before sniffling in. Swann tried to smile before shaking his head.

Your not hurt, this is supposed to happen.

Wh…what?

Swann tried to search for the right words before just shaking his head.

I think you have your period…anyone ever tell you about that?

Dorothea took a second before getting herself under control, slowly nodding she bowed her head.

I just panicked, I'm so sorry for scaring you.

You didn't…trust me.

Swann brushed away the hair that hung in her face and smiled.

Tell you what, there's a woman who's inside that store up front…I'll ask her to come in and help you out okay?

Dorothea softly laughed before Swann softly brushed his fingertips against her tear soaked cheeks. Smiling he leaned down and kissed one of them before looking at her.

Dorothea smiled.

That's was my first kiss…

Swann blushed, he couldn't believe what he was doing, it seemed like he was falling down a hole in which he couldn't escape. Fear, terror, and excitement were all pounding in his sore heart.

"She's twelve man, don't be stupid."

He told himself deep in his head, but looking at her beautiful and pure face made him feel like he really had done something good.

Swann leaned in again and this time kissed her on the lips. It was a quick kiss, closed lips and kind of awkward. But all the same it was a kiss filled with love. Dorothea giggled as Swann pulled away.

I love you Philip, I really do.

I love you too Dorothea, I won't let anything ever happen to you.

Smiling, Dorothea sat back and took a deep breath.

I'll go get that lady, wait here…

Dorothea watched him and smiled, for the first time in awhile she didn't feel scared anymore.

Excuse me?

Swann walked up to the counter where a young girl, maybe fifteen or sixteen sat reading a magazine. A small fan blowing by her from the hot sticky heat that nobody could escape. Looking around, it was a small store that people stopped by whenever they needed gas driving through. It looked as if nobody had stopped by in days. Clearing his throat, he stuffed his hands in his pockets before the girl looked up.

Yes?

Ummm…I just bought twenty worth of gas.

The girl nodded as Swann handed her a crumpled up twenty dollar bill. Swann took a second before controlling his breathing.

Ummm, could I ask you a favor?

The girl looked up again.

You see, I'm traveling with my kid sister and she just started her, well…

Ohhh…

The girl put down her magazine before standing up and walking around the counter.

I'll see if she's okay.

I'll be happy to give you money…

Swann began reaching for his wallet when the girl laughed and shook her head.

Don't worry about it hon, it's a girl thing…best you wait out in the car.

Nodding, Swann thanked the woman before watching her walk out back. A half an hour later, both walked out.

Take care honey…

Dorothea slowly nodded before getting into the car. In her hands was a brown paper bag. Right away Swann noticed she was dressed in a light colored baggy T-shirt and sweats. Mostly likely given to her by the girl. Avoiding eye contact with him, Dorothea waved to the girl as Swann started up the engine.

You okay?

Yes…

Dorothea softly said.

Pulling out, Swann sighed.

He had been thinking about dropping her off someplace. He asked earlier if she had any family…but there wasn't any. Much like him, she was completely alone. He thought someplace in the city…then glancing over at her as she clutched her brown paper bag and looked down, he thought back to that kiss.

"She's twelve…"

He tried to tell himself, but looking at her, he felt a need to protect her. There still was risk…maybe he could stop it.

Dorothea?

Yes?

Never mind…

Driving ahead, he decided he wouldn't say anything until he got a good night sleep.

The two sat inside the dinner right before dusk. It was a small place off the beat and track. A few people were sitting up at the counter, truckers mostly. Swann and Dorothea sat across from each other in a booth. The window that they were at faced the dusty parking-lot were the car was parked.

Both barley touched their food.

"That your car?" "Like do you own it?"

Swann looked up, he had been spacing out again. Looking across at her as she pointed, he looked out at the car. Nodding he looked at her.

"Yeah, bought it when I was sixteen…been fixing it up.

Dorothea stared at it before looking back at him.

"Do you have any family?"

Philip took a sip of his drink before shaking his head.

"Nope…they died when I was younger, lived on the streets for a long time."

"Before Nix found you?"

Philip slowly nodded.

"Let's not talk about that anymore, okay?"

Dorothea nodded, still picking at her food.

They sat in silence for a while, before the waitress came over with the check.

Heading back in the car again, Philip really had no idea what was next. They were arrive in Los Angles before tomorrow. He needed sleep badly now and knew they would have to check into a motel tonight.

Then what?

He really didn't know. Maybe find someplace for Dorothea to go. Someplace safe? Then another part of him felt as though she was only safe around him. He knew he could protect her in case anything happened.

But he didn't know what he was doing. Here he was, glancing at her, feeling himself go hard while she was this young twelve year old. Most likely in shock after everything she went through. It wouldn't be fair to take her with him. He knew it wasn't right his feelings.

But still…his thoughts kept going back to that kiss.


	3. Never leave me

"_Dorothea?"_

_Both were walking towards the car together. It was dark now and the rusting flicking lights that lined the small parking-lot of the dinner softly buzzed with electric sound. Dorothea glanced up at him before he cleared his throat._

"_I wanted to ask you…if you wanted me to find someplace you could stay?"_

"_Like where?"_

_Swann shrugged._

"_I don't know, maybe another foster home, a school that might take you in." "Someplace nice, someplace where you might get a family, live a normal life…"_

"_I don't think that's ever gonna happen…"_

"_Huh?"_

"_A normal life, not after what I saw…"_

_Both stopped in front of the car. Swann took a cigarette out of his pocket and lit up. Glancing at the dinner's front windows, he saw mostly truckers sitting in the booths. Having an early dinner, or another cup of coffee for the road._

"_Well I really don't know what I'm gonna do…maybe head to the city."_

"_Los Angeles?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Ever been?"_

"_A long time ago."_

"_What do you plan on doing there?"_

"_I don't know, maybe get a job…try to pretend that I can't remember."_

"_Let me come with you then."_

_Swann flicked the ash of his cigarette for a second before shaking his head._

"_Dorothea, your just a little girl…you don't wanna come with me." "I city is a big place, I'll probably be struggling, barley able to take care of myself."_

"_We'll take care of each other then."_

"_What?"_

"_Like we did before, make sure nothing happens to each other."_

"_Dorothea…it's not that easy, I mean even though Nix's people won't follow us, their still dangerous…"_

"_And I'm a crack shot."_

_Dorothea playfully held up her hand as a gun before smiling at Swann. Trying his best to smile back, he shook his head._

"_I just don't think I can do it."_

"_Are you freaked out that I'll be a pain, someone you always have to watch out for?"_

"_Of course not…"_

"_Well I'm sorry I got my period okay, I was scared and freaked out…I can't help it I'm becoming a woman."_

_Dorothea crossed her arms, shooting Swann a look. Feeling slightly embarrassed, he looked down._

"_Dorothea, it's not that…I just want you to be happy."_

"_I'll be happy if I'm with you, your different…I can tell."_

_Swann shook his head._

"_Everyone tells me that, but the truth I'm just a messed up kid…I'm nothing."_

"_You saved me, that's all I need."_

"_You don't understand, Nix showed me things, gave me power that I don't fully know how to use…"_

"_Then we'll master it together, help you learn it…use it for good."_

"_Dorothea it isn't that easy, do you have any idea what would happen if somebody, the world found out?"_

"_We'll use it in a different way."_

"_Like how?"_

"_Be a magician."_

_Swann turned away laughing, Dorothea reached forward pulling his shoulder._

"_What?" "You have the power, why not use it."_

_Swann turned back, trying his best to withhold himself._

"_Dorothea, do you have any idea how dangerous that is…I'll be in the spot light, anything could happen…"_

"_Not as long as Nix is dead."_

_Swann sighed._

"_But if anyone found out…"_

"_Nobody will ever have to know, learn how to control your power…make it all seem like an act, blow people away."_

_Swann threw down his smoke before slowly pacing back and forth._

"_This is crazy…"_

_Dorothea watched him._

"_What's so crazy about it, I mean look at us…I'm twelve and your nineteen." "We haven't been to high school or college, we have little to no money in our pockets, and nowhere to go."_

_Swann then stopped, he felt his heart beating fast again._

"_Dorothea…you don't understand how powerful this is…"_

"_But we'll use it for good…this will just be our way of staying alive."_

"_To make money?"_

"_No, that's not it…but to be able to live, feel normal…feel as though your using your power for good." "Finally, after you prove yourself, you can find other ways to use your power for good…to help people."_

"_This would never work…"_

"_It might take years to get started, but you're the best…your probably the only one who really can do magic."_

_Swann stopped for a second, looking out at the dark parking-lot and desert, he felt as though he was having a panic attack. Shaking his head he turned towards her._

"_I can't…"_

_Dorothea then reached forward, slipping her tiny hand into his before meeting his eyes._

"_I'll be at your side, we'll do it together."_

"_Is this what you want?"_

"_What I want is to be with you…"_

"_Dorothea your twelve, in a few years you'll forget about me."_

_Dorothea shook her head._

"_I've never loved anyone in my entire life, I feel as through it was faith that we met each other…I mean age is a state of mind, I don't act like I'm twelve."_

_Swann looked at her._

"_You don't."_

"_I know…I'm ready to face life with you, move on and start something."_

"_You don't know what your saying…"_

_Dorothea then leaned forward, standing on her tip toes she barley met his chin before kissing it, her eyes closed._

"_I do…"_

_Swann reached out, putting his arms around her thin body. Both held each other for a few moments in the dark before he looked down at her._

"_This is crazy…"_

_Dorothea smiled._

"_I know…that's why it's gonna work."_

_A few hours later, Swann checked them into a small motel across from the highway. Parking the car in the back, he noticed the man behind the desk eye him as Dorothea walked up to his side, reaching out and taking his hand as he sighed them in._

_Philip and Dorothea Swann._

Looking down for a second, Swann smiled before the clerk handed him his change.

"You and your daughter have a good night."

It took a second to hear what the clerk meant before turning around and walking to the room. Dorothea stayed silent, holding his hand and looking around with those big brown eyes.

Inside the room, which was simple and dull enough. Swann threw down his jacket and bag before Dorothea went into the bathroom. Throwing himself on the large bed, he looked up at the ceiling.

Was this wrong of him?

"She's twelve…"

He softly said to himself, laying there…trying his hardest to space out.

About ten minutes later Dorothea came out, just one of the motel's towels around her as she went to the bed. Her blond hair slicked back from a nice cool shower. Swann eyed her before she slightly smiled and sat down.

"The water works real good, if you wanna take a shower or something…"

"I think I will in the morning, I'm exausted."

Dorothea tiny fingers reached over and brushed some of his hair away.

"You look as though you haven't slept in awhile…"

Swann looked over at her as he laid there, her smooth fingers gently rubbing the side of his stubby face.

"You have beautiful eyes…"

Swann smiled.

"So don't you."

Dorothea blushed before shaking her head.

"No I don't…you have the beautiful ones, their so striking."

"That's what a lot of people said…"

"Your very handsome…"

Swann raised an eyebrow before Dorothea turned away. Smiling to himself he slid off the bed.

"You need something to wear tonight?"

Dorothea turned back, her cheeks red.

"Yeah…I kind of do."

Swann turned around and grabbed his bag off the chair. After a few seconds he pulled out an old button up shirt of his, big enough for her to sleep in.

"How about this?"

Swann walked over to Dorothea's side before she took it, softly smiling. Swann winked at her before reaching for a pillow.

"What are you doing?"

Swann looked at her.

"I'm gonna sleep on the floor, you can have the bed tonight."

Dorothea stared at him, a long enough silence to be awkward. Slowly she stood up, only a few inches away from each other. Looking up at him, her eyes serious…she dropped her robe.

Swann took a second, watching as the towel fell to her feet. Her eyes still fixed on his. Looking her up and down he saw she was pretty undeveloped. Her body smooth, young, and perfect. Right away an awful erection began to press against he leg of his jeans. 

Dorothea looked down and saw it.

"Did I do that?"

Swann wanted to kill himself, shutting his eyes for a second he hoped she was meaning something else. After a few seconds he opened them again and she was still looking.

"I heard about that happens to guys when…well…"

It was her time to look embarrassed. Looking away for a second she brought her arms up and crossed them, covering her flat chest.

"Philip?"

Swann looked down at her.

"Make love to me."

"What?"

Swann backed up a little bit, he didn't hear right. Dorothea meanwhile kept looking at him.

"I love you Philip, I really do…"

"Whoa…"

Swann shook his head.

"Your moving too fast, I mean we just agreed that I would take you with me, I mean we're gonna be struggling in the city as it is…"

"So?"

"So what?"

"So…I mean, is it because you don't think I'm pretty?"

"No, of course not…it's just, honey your twelve…and I'm nineteen, that's still really young and…"

Before he could finish another word, she walked over and pressed her smooth naked body up against him. Taking a deep breath, he looked down at her.

"I love you Philip, don't you love me?"

"Of course I do…"

"Then make love to me, please."

A few minutes later, Swann flicked off the light and slowly undressed.

He really didn't know if he was an awful person for doing this. He thought of a million reasons why it was wrong. But her beautiful stunning brown eyes kept looking at him. Through everything that had happened, she was here with him. She was right, even though she was twelve, she had seen and done things no child would ever be able to do. They maybe were being stupid and not thinking right, but he couldn't help feeling this way about her. He thought this empty feeling in his heart was about something else. But now here with her, he felt safe.

She was different like him, and both stood in front of a very unknown future. But she was right, if they were going to face it, they would face it together.

Laying on top of her, in the darkness of their small motel room. Ever few minutes their window that faced the parking-lot, would light up a little bit through the cheap curtains. Trucks and cars passing from the highway across.

She laid there, perfectly still. Letting him do what was needed. He laid there, naked and somehow more scared then she was. Holding himself up, he stared down at her wide eyes.

"Are you sure?"

Slowly she nodded.

Lowering himself, Swann used his hand to guide himself in. For a brief second he thought it wasn't going to happen. But pushing forward, gritting his teeth, he entered her.

"Hissss!"

Dorothea snapped her eyes shut, before Swann lowered himself and laid there for a second. His first thought was to pull out, that she was too young and couldn't handle this. He didn't want to hurt her.

"Are you okay?"

After a few seconds she opened her eyes.

"Am I a virgin anymore?"

Swann faintly smiled in the darkness.

"No, not anymore."

Dorothea shut her eyes for a second before opening them again.

"Kiss me Philip…"

Leaning over, he softly kissed her on her lips. 

"Do you want to stop?"

She shook her head.

"If I hurt you, just tell me and we'll stop okay?"

Dorothea nodded before Swann positioned himself again. Taking a deep breath he began to move, slowly thrusting himself in and out of her thin frame. Dorothea was silent the entire time. Her eyes fixed on him, as he tried to control himself by the tightness and warmth inside her. Locking eyes with her, as he pushed her deeper into the bed, he then knew in his heart he loved her. All of this was for her, and no matter what, he wouldn't ever let harm touch her again.

Before he could think, he climaxed. Lowering his head and muffling, he came before taking a deep breath. Pulling himself out and rolling over, he felt warmth up and down her legs. It was either from her, or she was bleeding. Laying there, under the covers. He caught his breath before looking over.

"You okay?"

His arms slipped around her thin shoulders, before bringing her closer. There he saw she was crying.

"Dorothea did I hurt you?"

Dorothea reached up and wiped her eyes before looking at him.

"It hurt, but it was beautiful…I can't even explain it."

Swann kissed her bare shoulder before holding her against him.

"I know…"

Laying her head on his bare chest, she held him.

"I love you…I know now that for sure, I love you."

"I love you too…"

"Never leave me, not even for a second okay?"

Swann kissed the top of her head before laying there.

"I never will…"

And there they laid together, safe in each other's arms in the darkness.


	4. City of lights

The next morning, Swann slowly opened his eyes to see sunlight drifting in through the curtains. Looking around the small motel room, he remembered where he was. Glancing over he saw Dorothea peacefully sleeping beside him. Her tiny body covered by the sheets, and her face looking so pure and beautiful as sunlight went across it. Taking a second he remembered last night's events. Everything seemed to have happened so fast. They somehow decided to stay together, and just try in making a way to live off the power he had. Thinking for a second, thoughts of all the risk and danger went into his mind. He knew the odds were against them, and most likely it wouldn't work. But looking over at Dorothea as she slept, he knew he had to give it at least a good try. He wanted to protect her, and make sure she had the life she always deserved.

Slipping out from the sheets, Swann stood completely naked for a second before crossing over to the bathroom. His body felt sore and ached. Going inside, he shut the door, trying his hardest to make little to no noise. Using the bathroom first, he held himself and looked out the small window that faced the back. There he saw the car parked. After a few moments he went over to the sink and stared at his reflection. He still looked tired. Brushing back his hair he decided the first thing he needed to do was a shower. Maybe then he might wake up a little more and feel like starting the day. He wanted to reach the city before dark.

Walking over, he started the shower and stepped inside. The luke warm water hitting his body made him feel amazing. Putting his head back as he closed his eyes, his long hair slicked back as he stood underneath the showerhead. Seconds later he heard a noise. Opening his eyes he saw the plastic shower curtain pull back and Dorothea stepping inside.

"I usualy shower at night, but I decided to join you."

She smiled, looking much older then she was. Swann then knew she would grow into a beautiful strong woman in only a few years. Somebody he wouldn't ever have a chance with in a million years. He knew he wasn't handsome…the best word that Dorothea used was striking. Maybe it really wasn't looks that had drawn so many people to him. As he learned before, Flesh was just an illusion, so wasn't pleasure and lust. Maybe Nix was right about one thing. Something deep inside him held power even before he learned it. He hoped he was doing the right thing. He wanted to protect Dorothea, but feared their future was so unknown anything could happen. He feared he would lose her. For a second it dawned on him again that even though inside she was a strong person, the outside…the flesh was a child. Here he was, deeply in love with a child.

But his worries broke apart as she shut the curtain behind her and giggled. Swann turned, facing her as the water beat off his back. Both locking eyes, he leaned down and began to kiss her. Both smiling through the kiss.

There he turned her around with him. Holding her around the waist as the water poured off them. He felt himself getting excited again, but decided to just enjoy this moment. Shutting his eyes, he stood with her…praying that she loved him back.

Afterwards, the two of them dressed and checked out. Dorothea seemed in a much better mood and sat in the passenger seat, singing along to the radio. Swann meanwhile drove, every once in awhile eyeing her and laughing. After an hour they stopped for breakfast and then got right back on the highway. Dorothea began talking a mile a minute about her ideas of him using his powers. She talked for a while about acts she had seen on TV. How there was this guy named David Copperfield who she saw on a talk show. He called himself an illusionist. She said it would probably be easy once people could see what he could do. But still hiding the fact that it was the real thing.

"Make everything seem like some unexplained trick…then you'll make it. All these other guys use wires, doubles, mirrors…your gonna blow them away."

"I hope so…I mean Los Angeles isn't an easy city."

"I know it isn't, but even if you try, we'll think of something else."

Swann smiled over at her and used one hand to gently touched her face. Smiling, she went on with other ideas. Finally, once they went on the main freeway, she asked him what were his powers.

"Nothing like Nix could do, I guess he choose me because he saw something…"

"Well what can you do?"

Swann shrugged before pulling the car over. Dorothea looked around.

"What are you doing?"

"You'll see…come on."

Swann parked the car before getting out and walking down the hill on the side of the road. Dorothea followed him before they were out of sight and hidden by the tall trees. Looking around, the sun shinned down on them. Swann then stood in front of her before Dorothea laughed.

"What?"

"Watch…"

Swann's face became serious as he closed his eyes. Slowly he reached out and took Dorothea's hands.

"Philip…"

"Shhh…"

Within seconds, they slowly began to rise up off the ground. Dorothea nearly lost one of her sandals before she looked around in disbelief.

"Philip!"

She held onto him as they rose higher. Finally, once they were at least fourteen feet in the air, Swann opened his eyes and smiled at her.

"Don't be afraid…"

Dorothea held onto Swann's hands for dear life before looking around at everything. Looking over at him, she was speechless.

"This is amazing…"

Slowly, he leaned over and kissed her.

A few hours later, right before they entered Los Angeles, they stopped for lunch at another dinner. Both sat in the back as Dorothea wrote in a notebook Swann had just bought her. The two of them were brainstorming.

"Once we get into Los Angeles, we'll try to find an agent…maybe connections in Vegas."

Swann sipped his coffee as he watched her.

"I don't think it's gonna be that easy, I mean if we need to keep this a secret."

Dorothea rolled her eyes.

"Please Philip…we'll figure out something, now help me think."

Laughing, Swann moved closer to her as they began to talk.

Just then…they heard a voice.

"Philip Swann?"

Swann and Dorothea looked up, right away their hearts jumped into their throats. Dorothea froze against Swann's body in the small booth, almost in shock.

There stood Valentin, one of Nix's many cult members. He had been there almost as long as Jennifer. He was older then everyone else and had a very kind manner about him. Around the same time they all left, Valentin did too. He agreed that Nix was dangerous, but was unable to track down when they decided to go back. In fact the last time Swann spoke with him, a few months before…he was the one who gave the idea of burying Nix in the exact spot they did.

Now here he stood.

Swann blinked a few times, he couldn't believe it.

"Valentin?"

Valentin smiled before Swann got up from the booth. The two friends looked at each other before both began laughing and hugged each other. Dorothea meanwhile stood there, sitting and watching the two. Unsure if she should run or not. Finally Valentin looked Swann right in the eyes.

"Is it finished?"

Swann nodded.

"Thank God…and the others?"

"Their fine, we all went our own ways…"

Valentin nodded before glancing over at Dorothea who now picked at her lunch, too shy to even glance up at him.

"And who is this?"

Swann looked at Dorothea and smiled.

"This is Dorothea, Nix kidnapped her…she saved my life."

Valentin looked at Dorothea before smiling.

"Your very beautiful child."

Dorothea looked up.

"I'm not a child."

There, the two men laughed.

A few hours later, the three of them sat together in the same booth. Eating and catching up on everything. Valentin seemed to have a great respect for Swann, and his power. He heard what had happened, and then Dorothea's plan.

"I think the girl is right, I think you could really do this."

Swann raised an eyebrow, his arm around Dorothea as the waitress brought over another round of coffee for them.

"You think so?"

"If it's planned out right, in fact I think you might be the greatest."

"Come with us them…help me."

Valentin looked uneasy.

"I know you don't care about being rich and famous, you just want to protect yourself."

"And her…"

Swann finished. Dorothea blushed.

"Well yes, but I've been drifting around…I don't know if I'll be any help."

"I think you would be."

"It would be an honor to help and work with you…but."

"But what, I mean what else would I use this power for?"

Valentin eyed the two of them before smiling.

"Well I guess we're going to Los Angeles then."

The three of them smiled before the sun began setting. For the next hour they talked. It seemed as though Valentin had been drifting around since he left the cult. Working odd jobs and even thinking about heading to the city. Finally they began discussing the plan to use Swann's power in maybe breaking into the hard city they had heard so much about. Dorothea held her ground, speaking like an adult and sitting up straight. She gave a few ideas, while Valentine talked about being safe, and making sure nobody would ever find out the truth. Finally the check was paid and they headed towards the city of lights, which seemed to sparkle in the darkness.

The three of them sat on the hood of Swann's car. Valentin and Swann shared a smoke, while Dorothea had Swann's leather jacket over her shoulders. They gazed at the city.

"It's big…"

"Yeah…"

Swann softly said.

So there they three of them sat, waiting for the future.


	5. Dreams

_One year later_

"Philip!"

Dorothea called as she crossed the living room of their apartment. In the last year she had slowly began growing and maturing faster then the blink of an eye. She was taller, and had developed breasts. Wearing jeans and a button up white blouse, she had her hair in a messy ponytail as she went to the bathroom.

"Valentin waiting outside in the car, he said you need to get going…"

Opening the door, she watched Swann, only in black dress slacks, standing in front of the sink. A towel over his shoulder as he finished shaving. Leaning against the doorway, Dorothea smiled.

"Did you hear me?"

Swann looked over before dipping the razor into the sink.

"He can wait, I'll be done in a second…"

"Your shirt and suit jacket are laying across the bed…that all you need?"

Swann nodded before going to shave again, Dorothea watched him almost in a amazement. His beautiful brown hair was pushed back, revealing those big blue eyes of his.

"You nervous?"

Swann shook his head.

"Just another gig…"

"Yeah, but Valentin said an agent is going to be there tonight, I guess there's been a lot of buzz about you."

"Yeah…I figured."

Smiling, Dorothea walked over and slipped her hands around Swann's waist. Slowly her fingers rubbed his flat stomach as she laid her head against his shoulder. Swann smiled, looking at their reflection before finishing.

They had stayed in Los Angeles for nearly six months. Valentin helped him along side with Dorothea brainstorm acts. After a few performances at some night clubs, word began to spread. This wasn't like any regular magic show. It was serious and dangerous…and still the audience asked themselves, how Swann did it. The shows began being offered, and so didn't the money. Finally Valentin was informed that there were some agents reading to offer Swann some pretty big contacts as long as he moved out to Vegas for a year or so. Since then he had been working nonstop. Putting all time, money, and energy into the act. Many nights, Dorothea would come along. Helping back stage, or watching in the audience. She loved watching him as everyone gasped in amazement. Knowing that was the man she loved.

And that it was real.

He called it illusions, but Valentin and Dorothea knew better.

Dorothea didn't return to school. In fact Valentin often brought over books and tried his hardest to teach her the basics. She mostly stayed in their apartment, or helped with the shows. She didn't care she was missing her childhood, she loved Swann so much…things really seemed to be working out for them. Time past, and slowly that awful nightmare began to drift away from her.

Many nights after a show, Swann would drive around the city with Dorothea. They liked Vegas, but knew if anything worked out they would settle in Los Angeles. He treated her like a princess. Making sure every need of hers were met. He loved to spoil her, give her gifts and show her that all of this was for her. Success and fame were distant from his mind, even though it was coming up quick. All he cared about for Dorothea. He wanted everything for her. And every night, they would make love and fall asleep in each other's arms.

Sometimes, he would wake up…having awful dreams of Nix. But every time, he would just look over and see his Dorothea, resting peacefully against him.

Putting down the razor, Swann smiled as Dorothea held him tight.

"You sure you don't wanna come tonight?"

"I'll be too nervous…you'll have to tell me everything once you come back."

Dorothea softly began kissing his shoulder.

Turning, Swann held her beautiful face in his hands and pressed his lips hard against hers. Opening and closing their mouths, Swann held her tight before they parted. Gasping for breath, Dorothea looked up at him.

That's when he reached behind him and grabbed his can of shaving cream. Aimed like a gun, he sprayed her. Laughing, she pulled away as he chased her into the bedroom. Both fell against their bed, as Swann began kissing her neck as she giggled. Shaving cream all over the carpet and in her hair.

Just as he began undoing her blouse, they heard a car beeping outside. Looking up. Dorothea laughed.

"Valentin."

The rest of the night was long. After Swann left, Dorothea curled up in bed and fell asleep. A few hours later, he burst into the room, waking her. Dressed in a handsome looking black suit, he peeled off his suit jacket and threw it towards the floor. Dorothea blinked the sleep out of her eyes before sitting up.

"Philip?"

She asked in a sleepy voice. Before she could say another thing, Swann ran over and picked her up out of bed.

"Philip!"

She laughed as he held her up, swinging her around laughing.

"I got the contact, they have me booked for the next year!"

"What?"

Swann laughed as they slowly began to lift off the ground.

"Thirteen million dollar contact, and it's all ours."

Dorothea couldn't believe it.

"What!"

Swann laughed kissing her as they began to rise.

All of their dreams were coming true.


	6. Heaven

_Five years later_

Dorothea stood in front of the full length mirror that hung in her huge walk in closet. Never ending shelves of high fashion clothes, pricy purses, hats, and shoes all lined in neat order. Like almost any young woman, Dorothea loved to shop. In fact just last month for her honeymoon, Philip treated her to a shopping spree in Paris. Standing there, now eighteen years old. She no longer looked like the scared and helpless child that was kidnapped by Nix almost seven years ago. She had grown into a beautiful stunning woman. Her body filled out and had smooth curves. Her breasts seemed to shape the sparking black gown she wore, and had nearly glowing perfect skin. Her hair short now and dyed, she felt different. In fact, she felt stronger. Here she was, a blessed woman with all these things in her life, along with beauty. 

Looking at herself, she turned a bit before looking down at her huge sparking wedding ring. Philip himself bought it in Europe last year while touring. Thinking back to the wedding, it was all her dreams come true. Famous talents came all over to see the two of them get married. Dorothea had gotten used to living in the spot light. In fact, Philip was the 5th richest man in Los Angeles. He was the most famous illusionist of all time. Selling out shows, and traveling all over the world. His "magic" had touched people, and amazed them. She knew Philip had done all of this for her. Here they were living in a dream mansion, and she didn't have to do one thing. While other eighteen year olds were starting college and hanging out with friends. She was now married to Philip Swann, and having all her dreams come true.

Smiling, she walked out of her closet and into their master bedroom. Crossing over the white tiger rug, she looked at her reflection again in her vanity before the door opened. Philip walked in, wearing a black suit. Over the past five years he still looked just as handsome as the day she first met him. Even though his beautiful long hair was shorter, he was still the same.

"Hello love, you look beautiful."

"You think so?"

Swann nodded before Dorothea turned.

"Zip me up?"

Swann walked behind her and began to pull her zipper up. One hand placed on her thin waist.

"Valentin has the limo waiting."

Turning, Dorothea locked eyes with her husband. Yes her husband…she had waited so long to say this. Here they were, far from what they used to be.

"Please me careful tonight, these new illusions you put in always make me nervous."

Swann smiled.

"Dorothea, this is my opening show of the year, it has to be exciting."

Placing her hands on his shoulders, she looked him straight in the eye.

"I just don't know what I would do if something happened to you…"

Swann leaned in, kissing his wife before taking her hand.

"Come on, we got a show to do."

At the theater, thousands of people crowded around into their seats. Dorothea sat in the front row with a few of her friends. Mostly people from wealth and fame. Regan, a soap opera actress talked with her while stroking her fur coat before the lights went down. Looking forward, the same excitement entered her heart as it did with a child. Anytime she watched Philip perform, she knew she married a truly amazing man.

Right away he appeared out of nowhere as the audience gasped. Watching him, her heart pounded.

Later that night, Dorothea burst into the bedroom, nearly crying. Swann followed her.

"What's wrong, you didn't say a word the entire ride home."

Dorothea turned around, clutching her purse.

"What's wrong, you nearly got yourself killed up there tonight!"

Earlier in the show, Philip tried his newest trick dealing with a saw lowering above him. Everyone sat on the edge of their seats before he just in time unlocked himself free. Dorothea meanwhile saw the slight look of panic in his face and felt sick. Afterwards he explained to her that everything worked out fine, and nothing had happened to him. But she felt scared. It wasn't like this was all fake, she knew inside it was real.

"I didn't marry a man who will be dead and gone within a year!"

"Dorothea, what did I tell you…it was part of the act."

Dorothea began taking off her earrings, crying as her eyeliner ran.

"I don't care, it looked dangerous…"

Before she could say another word, Swann turned her around and looked into her eyes.

"I would never do anything like that to hurt you…"

Dorothea couldn't help it, tears dripping down her face she shook her head.

"Your all I got, I just get so nervous…"

Before she could finish, his mouth was on top of hers. Kissing her deeply, he began bringing her over to their bed. Working her dress off, it slipped around her ankles before he laid her on the bed. Wiping her face, she watched as he worked off his suit jacket and began undoing his belt. Sliding back on the silk sheets, she watched him breathing hard.

Once they were undressed, Swann slid on top of her, feeling her smooth body against his as he kissed her softly down the neck. Shutting her eyes, she tried to forget about worrying. Nothing was going to happen. Her husband was here with her…alive.

Wrapping her arms around his back, she felt him enter her. Right away she moaned out. Knowing he had been the only man she had been with, and ever would be with. Loving him so much, she shook as he began to thrust. Opening her eyes, she watched him, looking into those beautiful blue eyes. Philip meanwhile began a steady pace, thrusting in and out, spreading her legs and holding himself back. She rocked underneath him, moving her hips.

Once they finished, they laid naked together in bed. He stroked her hair, while she laid up against him in the darkness. Lately he had been so busy, always working while she stayed here alone. Looking down at her ring, she smiled as he kissed the top of her head.

"I love you…"

Turning, she kissed him.

"I love you too…"

Laying there, he kept stroking her hair as she laid up against his chest. Breathing in and out, she knew that this was really what heaven was like.

The next day, Dorothea woke up to see Swann dressing across the room. Sitting up, looking at the window that lead to the balcony, curtains blew back and forth from the passing breeze. It was another beautiful day.

"Hey…"

Swann turned smiling.

"Hi, sorry I woke you."

Dorothea smiled before crawling across the unmade bed.

"Stay with me, we'll sleep in."

Swan shook his head.

"I have rehearsal at eight, I'll be home in the afternoon…maybe we'll go out for lunch or something."

"Make love to me again, please…"

Swann grinned before walking over, leaning down he kissed his wife.

"I wish I could baby, but I gotta run."

Kissing her again, Swann winked and then walked out. Laying there, Dorothea rolled over smiling.


	7. Happiest moment of his life

Dorothea sat in the front row of the huge empty theater, with her best friend Regan. The two of them spoke softly to each other, giggling and watching Swann and the dancers rehearse the act for tonight's show.

Usualy on afternoons when she didn't have anything going on, she would have lunch with Regan, go shopping in the city, and finally stop by to see Philip before his shows. Moving back to Los Angeles had really been a good move on their part. Something about the warm and never sleeping city made Dorothea feel more at home. She saw everything there as being beautiful, and waiting to be discovered. She loved her mansion that they bought a few years ago. Almost every detail that went into the house was made by her. 

Now sitting there, she watched her husband slowly begin to rise up as the dancers moved around.

"Come with me…into the great beyond."

Looking down at Dorothea, Swann winked.

A few hours later, Dorothea decided to spend the rest of the evening home. Catching the last few hours of light she laid out next to the pool and enjoyed a nice long nap. That evening, Swann came home late. Both made love in their bedroom, and the next morning Dorothea woke up in her husband's arms.

That's when the feeling washed over her.

Clasping her hand to her mouth, she pushed back the sheets and hurried to the bathroom. Right away Swann woke up just in time to see this.

"Dorothea?"

Slipping out of bed and grabbed his robe, he opened the bathroom door to find Dorothea kneeling beside the toilet throwing up. After a few seconds of dry heaves, she wiped her mouth and flushed. Swann went to her side.

"You okay?"

Her head felt feverish. Faintly smiling, Dorothea nodded.

"I guess I must be coming down with something, all this moving around…"

Swann remembered last year when he had to go to Japan for a world tour. He remembered Dorothea had come with him and suffered from motion sickness the entire flight. Kneeling down beside her, he brushed back her now dark hair and kissed her forehead.

"Why don't you go back to bed, I'll have Linda bring us up some breakfast."

Smiling, Dorothea nodded.

A few minutes later, Dorothea was resting comfortable in bed. Swann came in with their tray and crawled in beside her. Watching her pick at her food and slowly sip her tea, Swann studied her face before a thought came over him. This wasn't the first time she had been sick in the morning. In fact twice last week she had thrown up. Claming she was getting the flu. Even though he was always out of the house, working on his shows…Valentin had told him that he had noticed that Dorothea hadn't been feeling too well lately. In fact she canceled coming to some of his shows this past month. Complaining she felt drained of energy and beyond exausted. Thinking to when she was throwing up in the bathroom, Swann sipped his coffee before looking over at her.

"You've been sick a lot in the morning lately…huh?"

Dorothea slowly nodded before taking a small piece of her toast.

"Yeah. I can't seem to shake this flu…"

"Maybe it's not the flu?"

Dorothea looked over at him.

"Huh?"

Swann bit his lower lip.

"Maybe your pregnant?"

Dorothea dropped her toast on her tray before laughing.

"Yeah right…"

"Well it could be, I mean you said you stopped taking the birth control after our wedding because it was making you too moody."

Dorothea shook her head.

"I can't be…I would of known."

"Well…are you late?"

Swann remembered, besides the first time he took Dorothea's virginity they had used birth control. For the first few years it was condoms, then once Dorothea was old enough they switched on the pill. Children really weren't a topic that was brought up a lot. In fact they barley talked about it. Swann thought maybe this was because Dorothea was a child herself when they first met. The last couple of years between the traveling, the moving, the shows, and the wedding…they really hadn't found the time to fully talk about it. Both were beyond happy with the life's they made for themselves, and somehow the idea of getting pregnant seemed in the distant future. Swann loved Dorothea, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Maybe the fact she was always left alone in this huge mansion while he worked wasn't the best thing. Maybe what she was missing was children. The link that would of brought them together. Swann thinking about it now, really did like the idea of having kids. Here he was twenty-five years old…one of the richest men in Los Angeles. World famous…and something was now telling him, that he had the dream career, house, and wife…he could have the children to go along with it.

Children…

He thought to himself. He knew Dorothea and him would make great parents. And be able to live their children great life's. The thought of Dorothea really being pregnant made him smile. A feeling he couldn't explain. Maybe this was faith…maybe it was meant to be.

When he broke out of his thoughts he saw Dorothea had moved her tray to the nightstand and had her planner on her lap. She was counting. After a few minutes she looked up at him, dazed and a little scared.

A few hours later, Swann called down to Valentin that he was going to cancel his meetings for the rest of the afternoon. After dressing, he asked Linda, their housemaid if she wouldn't mind picking up a few pregnancy tests.

Looking at him on the landing, she smiled. He knew he could trust Linda. She had worked for them since they first bought the mansion. Turning around she said she would be back right away. A half an hour later she returned with the bag from the drug store. Winking at him, she wished both him and Dorothea luck.

Now the two of them sat in the bathroom waiting. Swann knew these tests weren't always right, and that they would probably have to go see Dorothea's doctor later this week.

Dorothea paced back and forth, rubbing her arms while Swann sat on the sink. Checking his watch, they had another minute. He knew this would be the longest minute of their life's. Sitting there, looking at the small plastic strip. He remembered the last six years with Dorothea. How he watched her grow into a beautiful woman. Here they were…no longer dirty teenagers who were on the run. They had everything they ever wanted…most of all each other. Within this minute, this test would change their life's. They could be parents if the test said blue.

Dorothea kept pacing.

"You nervous?"

Dorothea looked up at him before softly smiling.

"A little bit…I mean, never thought I would be standing here."

Swann smiled back at her.

"Do you want this?"

Dorothea shrugged.

"I don't know, really depends on what the test says…I mean I never thought I would be a mother at eighteen, but still…part of me is really exciting, most of all since it's ours."

Swann reached out and took her hand.

Then, he glanced over at the test.

Blue.

Holding it up, he couldn't believe it. Dorothea came around, leaning against him and looked. After a few seconds she checked the box. Blue meant pregnant. 

"Oh my God…"

She muttered.

They were pregnant.

Swann then dropped the test before looking over at her. She looked stunned and scared to death. Before she could say anything, the most amazing feeling came over him. Laughing, he grabbed her around the waist and lifted her up like he used to do. Spinning her, he laughed, kissing her over and over.

Laughing, she looked down at him as he held her.

"We're gonna have a baby!"

Dorothea laughed as Swann lowered her and covered his mouth with hers.

"This is the happiest moment of my life…"

He softly said as he held her.

That memory, one that stood out after all those years would stay with Swann. That was when he could really say he was truly happy.


	8. Atticus

"Now lay still, this might feel cold."

Dorothea laid back in her doctor's office as the nurse smeared what looked to be a clear kind of jelly on her stomach. Over the last few months it had slowly began to grow out of her small frame. Swann couldn't help but think she looked cute. Sitting beside her, he held onto her hand as the nurse finished. Seconds later she took out what looked like a plastic paddle, and moved it across her stomach. The small screen then flickered on, and a fuzzy blue and black image came on.

The nurse moved the paddle across Dorothea's stomach before pointing to the screen.

"There's your baby…"

This had been the third ultrasound since they discovered Dorothea was pregnant. The last few months had been the happiest for the couple. They had just finished telling everyone, in fact Dorothea couldn't help but blush when a couple of weeks ago, Philip announced to his audience that him and his wife were expecting their first child. Being in the spot light wasn't easy, but Dorothea enjoyed the attention. She loved being pregnant. In fact she felt the happiest she had been since Philip and her got married. This was really happening, in only a couple of months she would be a mother. Part of her felt scared, she really was just a teenager. But another part of her, much like Philip felt excited. Their love seemed stronger then ever and here they were about to be parents.

Philip had been the most excited. In fact Dorothea never saw him like this before.

He was spending more time at home. In fact he cut most of his shows for the year in half. He planned on taking a year off after the baby was born. Always he fussed over Dorothea. Giving her soda water and crackers whenever she had morning sickness. Rubbing her sore feet after a long day. Making love with her, and holding her, rubbing her stomach and talking to their baby. In fact just last month he threw her a huge baby shower. At first Dorothea thought it was too early, but it was a suspire and treated her to a huge nursery they had just finished right across from their room. He was always kissing her, holding her, being worried whenever she got sick. Putting his head against her stomach at night and feeling the baby's tiny little kicks. Dorothea knew this baby meant a lot to him.

A tiny thumping filled the room.

"And that's the heartbeat…"

"Does it look okay?"

The nurse nodded before smiling over at Philip.

"Yes, your baby is growing fine and looks healthy, would you like to know the sex?"

Dorothea and Swann eyed each other before smiling. Swann nodded. After a few seconds, the nurse turned towards them.

"It looks like your having a little boy."

Swann blinked.

"A boy?"

The nurse smiled and nodded.

Swann couldn't help himself, he burst out laughing, tears of joy filled his eyes before he looked down at Dorothea who was just as amazed.

"We're having a boy!"

Leaning down he kissed her before looking at the screen, looking so young and happy then. Laughing again he pointed to the screen.

"We're having a boy!"

Kissing Dorothea again, she felt her heart beat faster. She was so happy that Philip was overjoyed. He wanted his baby more then anything, and now his dreams were coming true.

On their way out of the doctor's office, Philip kept passing nurses and showing them the sonogram photo. Telling them, grinning ear to ear that they were having a son. Dorothea laughed even when they got into the limo, and he began talking a mile a minute to Valentin. Dorothea sat back, laughing as he showed Valentine the photo.

Once home, he picked Dorothea up and told her he would take her shopping this afternoon. He wanted to cover that nursery with blue. Laughing, she held onto her husband, looking him straight in the eye and asking if he was happy.

Kissing her, he told her he felt as though this baby meant something, it was almost like magic.

That night, both laid in bed together. Dorothea was exausted from shopping and laid in Swann's arms. Swann meanwhile was too excited to sleep. He thought of everything he wanted to do with his son once he was born. He himself never had a father…other then Nix. Feeling chills go down in arms in the darkness, he held onto his wife tighter. He couldn't wait to hold his baby in his arms. Spoil him and do everything he always wanted to do with him. Looking down at Dorothea's stomach, he placed his hand over it. God had given them his baby, and he wasn't going to let anything happen to it. He wanted to have tons of children…but this one was going to be special. This was his little boy. Feeling tiny kicks underneath his hand, he smiled. Inside there his son grew. Closing his eyes, he dreamed of when he could finally hold his baby in his arms.

The next day, over breakfast. Swann looked over at Dorothea as she munched on her pancakes. Lately she had been craving the oddest things.

"I think I thought of a name…"

"Yeah?"

"How about Atticus?"

"Atticus?"

"From To Kill A Mockingbird…remember?"

To Kill A Mockingbird had been one of Swann's favorite books. In fact it was one of the first books he ever learned how to read. When Dorothea was fourteen or so, he even read it out loud to her.

"That's beautiful."

"You really like it?"

"Of course I do…Atticus Swann, fits perfect."

Smiling, Swann reached over and took his wife's hand.


	9. Part of them died

For Dorothea, she knew exactly when things changed in her marriage. When both of their hearts were broken, and the love they once shared slowly began to fall apart. She knew when all the pain of life came crashing down on them, and not even magic could save them. Often, for the next seven years of her marriage, things would be distant, unspoken, and unsettled. There was a great strain between them and it dawned of her that nothing would make it better. Time didn't deal anything, they grew further and further apart, while Dorothea began to see that she was falling out of love with the man who had once saved her. Standing in the desert, nineteen years old. His long brown hair and sparking blue eyes…just like an angel. All of those memories were gone when it happened.

On the verge of turning nineteen, Dorothea was nine months pregnant. The entire pregnancy had been amazing. Somehow this baby brought Swann and her even closer. She saw a side of her husband that seemed so pure, childish, and fun. The excitement and love growing as did their child inside her. He fussed over her every second, and couldn't wait to finally hold their baby in his arms. Dorothea loved being pregnant. The attention, the love, and the fact here she was…not even twenty and about to give life to something both Philip and her had made. Always rubbing her stomach, she thought of her son safe inside. Wishing she could finally see him.

One afternoon, she came along with Regan again to watch Philip rehearse. This would be his finally show for the year. He planned on taking time off to spend time with Dorothea and the new baby. Sitting in the front row, as she usualy did with Regan, the two talked and giggled while Philip was up on stage talking with the managers and Valentin. Dorothea rubbed her huge stomach and laughed with Regan as they watched the men perform.

"Hey…you wanna go out and get some air?"

Dorothea nodded before getting helped up. Right away Swann looked down as Dorothea waved her hand.

"We're gonna be out in the parking-lot for a little while."

"Stay off your feet…"

Dorothea smiled at Philip as Regan and her headed to the back doors. Winking at her and smiling, Philip turned back around to face the crew. Walking beside Regan, the two kept talking before they went down the hallway.

Then it happened.

Dorothea stopped short, the most awful cramp went through her. Zapping through her body, and aching in the middle. Snapping her eyes shut she nearly fell.

"Ah!"

Regan let out her arm as she held onto Dorothea.

"Oh my God are you okay?"

The pain came again, almost like a knife cutting inside her. The pain made her head spin and feel dizzy as she stood there. It throbbed inside her as she gasped for air.

"Jesus!"

Dorothea screamed before holding herself, seconds later she collapsed onto the floor. Everything slowly began gray as she heard Regan scream. Seconds later she heard guards run over to them as Regan kneeled down beside her.

"GET HER HUSBAND QUICK!"

Dorothea laid on the ground, her insides feeling as through they were being torn apart. Laying there, tears ran into her eyes as she felt her heart pound.

"Philip…"

She muttered, she needed him with her.

Seconds later she heard her name being screamed from a distance. She knew it was Philip, right away he fell down beside her and she saw his worried and terrified face. Holding her, he looked down at her…she could feel he was shaking.

"What is it baby?"

"Something's wrong…I can feel it…"

Dorothea snapped her eyes shut again in pain and began to hiss. Philip's concerned and scared eyes darted up to the guards and Valentin.

"CALL AN AMBULANCE QUICK!"

The guards along with Regan went running, while Valentin kneeled down beside them. Philip held onto Dorothea as she moaned out in pain.

"Maybe she's going into labor…"

Valentine said looking over his friends.

Opening her eyes, she looked up at Philip…she never thought something could hurt so bad in her entire life.

"Help me Philip…please…"

Shutting her eyes, she began to cry out in pain.

The ambulance came five minutes later. Right away the paramedics asked how far along Dorothea was before loading her up. Swann stayed by her side. The entire ride over, Dorothea kept crying out in pain, hardly able to move. Holding her hand, Swann knew something was wrong by the paramedics' faces.

At the hospital, they burst through the emergency room doors and began racing Dorothea down the corridor. Swann ran beside them, holding onto his wife's hand as the doctor joined them.

Valentin meanwhile stood in the lobby, holding his jacket and praying everything was all right.

They rushed her into delivery right away, about seven nurses all crowded around as Dorothea was hooked up to oxygen. Right away monitors began beeping as the doctor got into scrubs. Swann felt helpless, all he could do was hold onto his wife's hand as she cried out in pain. Seconds later the doctor came in and went in-between Dorothea's now spread legs.

"She's dilated…she's ready to go."

Swann felt his heart race, never before…not even when he faced Nix, was he so cared in his entire life. Dorothea looked pale, gasping for air as she cried out.

"Something's wrong!"

"Dorothea, we need you to start pushing…your baby is coming quick."

The nurses tried to sit Dorothea up as they began to coach her to push. Swann stood frozen as Dorothea screamed out.

Seconds later one of the monitors began to go off. A flashing red light came on as the doctor turned around. Swann saw it was the fetal heartbeat.

"We're loosing a heartbeat…get prepped for an emergency C-section!"

Dorothea snapped her eyes shut as the nurse shook her head.

"Stop pushing honey, we need to get your baby out."

Laying Dorothea down, the doctor and nurses began to move quick. Swann stood back, knowing something really was wrong.

Then…

The monitor flat lined.

"Get her open quick, we just lost a heartbeat!"

Swann could see Dorothea was bleeding, one of the nurses pushed him back as they started the C-section. Right away visions of things that happened with Nix began to appear before his eyes.

So much blood.

"Please not my baby, please…"

Dorothea muttered.

The doctor and nurses crowded around Dorothea's lower half that Swann couldn't see anymore. Standing there, he looked down as Dorothea's face was covered in an oxygen mask. Tears running down her beautiful face.

Then…

He saw the baby get pulled out, blue and lifeless…the cord wrapped around it's neck.

The nurses and doctor all eyed each other as Swan felt as though somebody had torn his heart out. Thinking back to Nix, he thought maybe this was his punishment for what they did. No, it couldn't be…

"I'm sorry. it's still born."

Dorothea threw back her head, her eyes shut as she screamed out. Before Swann could even get a better look, the baby was taken away.

A few hours later, Dorothea was sedated and resting in one of the hospital rooms. Sitting beside her, Swann felt as though he couldn't do anything. He was trapped in this awful nightmare he couldn't escape.

His son was dead.

The nurses had tried to work on him for nearly a half an hour. Trying his start his heart and pump oxygen. Finally they called it while Dorothea had a complete mental breakdown. The doctor took Swann out into the hallway and said how sorry he was.

Since then…there was silence.

Thinking back to earlier. He remembered how he was just touching Dorothea's stomach in the limo. Feeling the baby kick. What had gone wrong? Why was God doing this to him? He felt completely blank. Words couldn't describe how empty he felt. The doctor had given him something to relax, and told him yet again how sorry he was.

His son was dead.

Just then, Valentin entered. His head lowered.

"Philip?"

Philip looked over. Outside the city was starting to sparkle from down below by the night's sky. Glancing over, Dorothea laid there sleeping. Looking at her, he thought of the beautiful child he had fallen in love with. She now looked lifeless, empty, and dead.

He couldn't comfort her, he felt frozen.

Valentin took a seat, his eyes filled with tears.

"I'm so sorry Philip…"

Philip turned away, tears slipping down his face. A few moments later, his good friend held him as he cried.

Things really had fallen apart.

Two days later, Dorothea, Swann, and Valentin all stood together in the cemetery. It was beautiful out. Rolling lush hills filled with marble headstones from the rich and famous. In the background palm trees slowly rocked back and forth by the wind.

There the tombstone read…

_Atticus Swann_

_1989_

_Set free by magic._

Dorothea wore huge sunglasses and a hat to shield her pale and broken face. She had just gotten released from the hospital and was still recovering. The doctor had given her medication to help her though this. The entire morning she sat on the sofa downstairs, hardly speaking. Stoned, and blank. She muttered a few words before the three of them left in the limo.

Swann hadn't slept in the last two days. In fact, he was worse then Dorothea. He couldn't snap himself out of this. It hit him all over like a knife wound. Over and over again the pain hitting him. Knowing their son was gone…before they could even hold him.

The three of them stood around as Dorothea broke down, leaning over and sobbing. Valentin eyed Swann before seeing his blank emotionless eyes stare at the tiny grave. Crossing over he put his arms around Dorothea to comfort her.

Swann knew he wouldn't be able to this.

He was hurting too much.

Whatever Hell Dorothea was going through, he couldn't help her with. He too had lost their son and seemed as though someone had ripped his heart out. The grief was too much. He wished he would just die to escape it.

Once they got home, Valentin gave Dorothea another pill and sent her up to bed. Swann meanwhile planned on drinking until some of the pain went away. Sitting in his study, he thought of what would of happened if his son lived. Would he have looked like his parents? He thought of all those plans and dreams he thought raising him and watching him grow into a happy go lucky teenager. Now his son was buried under the ground…lifeless before he was even born.

Drinking, he closed his eyes as tears slipped down his face.

He knew he would never be the same.

Then…Valentin entered.

"She's asleep."

Swann cracked open one eye before nodding.

"Good."

"Are you all right?"

Swann laughed.

"Oh I'm fucking great…my newborn son is laying in a coffin that would probably only fit a doll, my wife is suffering a mental breakdown, and I think I am too."

Valentin crossed over.

"Philip, you need to be there for her…she needs you."

Swann closed his eyes again, the pain was getting worse.

"You can have other children, the doctor said so."

Swann shook his head.

"I just can't escape this…I fucking…I fucking can't…"

There he broke down, crying into his hands as Valentin went over to him.

He knew that Philip and Dorothea would never be the same again. When their baby died…so didn't a huge part of them.


	10. 13 years later

_Seven years later._

The marriage between Swann and Dorothea was never the same. It was in the media circuit for a couple of months. Brief details of how the child they were expecting died during birth. Dorothea fell into a depression and hid herself away in their mansion for nearly a year. She didn't want to eat, sleep, nor speak. Swann meanwhile buried himself in his work. Pretending the pain wasn't there. He still went on amazing crowds, while Dorothea fought through the grief she had over their only child.

Soon he was barley home, always working. It seemed as though anytime he looked Dorothea in the eyes the pain he felt would wash over him all over again. Becoming distant, there was a good number of arguments, and then finally they shared separate bedrooms. They rarely ever spoke or saw each other. Dorothea grew more into the beautiful woman she was…while Swann began to fall apart. His hair began to fall out, and he began frail and thin. The only thing that stayed the same about him were those beautiful sparking blue eyes. He drank and smoked…anything that kept the memory away.

At age thirty-two, he felt much older.

Even his performances began to drag on him. The more famous he got, the more he wanted out. This wasn't the life he wanted when Dorothea and him first decided to move to Los Angeles. He felt trapped…all this time, never really getting over it.

They barley made love. Dorothea even broke down to him once, telling him that they should try their hardest and move on. Maybe even having another baby. But Swann pushed her away…he couldn't go through that again. The risk was too high.

So that's how they stayed, distant and falling out of love.

One warm May afternoon, Dorothea went out back for a swim. She mostly stayed inside now. She hardly had any friends, nor even attempted too have any. Swimming underneath the cool crystal clear water, she got out just in time for Clemenzia their housemaid to come out with her tray for breakfast. Clemenzia took over after Linda got married and moved to Europe. Getting out, and drying herself with a towel she smiled at her housekeeper.

"Coffee Mrs. Swann?"

Dorothea smiled.

"Yes thank you."

Clemenzia began pouring when Dorothea looked around. The only time Philip and her really ever did spend time together was in the morning. The last couple of years had been tough on them. But lately he seemed protective of her. In fact, Dorothea could see part of him slowly recovering from the pain that had nearly killed the two of them. But for Dorothea the love she once shared with him was lost forever. Two nights out of the week they would share the same bed. Most of the time it was him coming into her bedroom in the middle of the night. Slipping in beside her and muttering something about nightmares. A few times they would attempt to make love, but always be left laying with their backs facing each other. There really wasn't anything left for them.

"Where's Mr. Swann?"

"In his study, he's got something on his mind."

Dorothea sighed before throwing on her robe and heading up to his study. Walking through the doors, she saw him behind his desk. Smoking and reading the newspaper. A worried and old look spread across his face.

"Hey…mister sunshine…that's what I'm gonna call you for now on."

Dorothea tried smiling as she crossed over, resting her hands on Swann's shoulders.

"Bad show?"

Swann leaned over, kissing her hand.

"The usual…Full house. Standing ovation. I tell them it's magic…"

"They believe you…"

Dorothea said looking off into space. Their relationship really had fallen apart. Here was the man she fell head over heels in love with just when she was a child. Now after their son died, it seemed as though they didn't love each other anymore…

"Yeah…"

She couldn't help it. Even though a huge part of her knew that their love was gone, she still worried about him. He was her husband. He saved her life, took her away, worked so hard to give her this life…and was the father of her only child. She knew he loved her too…but so much had changed.

"Remember Quaid?"

He handed her to newspaper.

"Sure…"

"I think they killed him…"

Dorothea began to walk away, she could feel his eyes on her.

Dorothea felt a sudden awful feeling enter her. A feeling she hadn't felt in years…a feeling of fear.

"Oh God…"

Looking down at the newspaper her husband handed her, she studied the photograph of the man on it. Something deep inside her made her keep looking down at it.

"I just saw him…"

Dorothea turned, seeing the worried look on her husband's face. Even though it had been thirteen years…she still had nightmares. People who followed Nix were still out there. Maybe they wanted revenge.

Swann then looked off.

"I'm putting in a new illusion tonight, something special, I want you to be there."

"Of course…"

Looking down at the newspaper she sighed.

"Do you want me to find out about Quaid, like the funeral?"

Swann shook his head, those beautiful blue eyes looking at her.

"No…I'm not going near him."

Dorothea looked down at the paper again before looking back at her husband. Turning his chair, she only saw clouds of smoke from his cigar come up. Turning away, he decided to get dressed and speak with Valentin. The man who was in the paper…the man named D'Amour.

A few hours later, she met him in the cemetery where her son was buried. A place in which she visited often.

Speaking with him, she was taken back by how handsome and funny he was. She knew he was there the night Quaid died. She knew he was a person who might be able to dig something up.

Something dealing with Nix's people.

Speaking with him, she commented on her husband. The truth was that she was worried about him. If Butterfield and Nix's followers were coming back and killing those who betrayed them. Swann would be next…maybe even her.

She spoke about how her husband really could have been something great, but between fame and money, some people, even good people get lost.

D'Amour decided to take the job, starting to going to Philip's show with her later that night. After saying goodbye, Dorothea prayed D'Amour was a good man who could help them.

Once she got home, she saw Philip was all ready gone. Most likely at the theater getting ready for tonight. Dressing, she eyed her wedding photo and sighed.


	11. Swords and Blood

That night, Dorothea was brought to her seat in the center of the theater. It had nearly been two years since she had seen a show of Philip's live. Sitting in her beautiful sparking dark gown, she looked around as thousands of people crowded in. Music playing loudly in the background, D'Amour finally came walking over. Handsome and fitting in a dark tux. Right away Dorothea smiled as he sat beside her. 

She wanted to prove to him that Philip was not only an illusionist or a magician. He was really a truly amazing man. She knew he could of done so much more with his power. But risks were too high. It was her idea in the first place. But it really was true…too much money and fame could get somebody lost. But whenever she saw Philip perform, the same excitement came over her as it did as a child. He was his old self on stage. Before everything had happened.

D'Amour sat down beside her as she smiled.

"Hey…"

"I'm glad you could make it."

"Are you kidding, this is a big deal for me…gotta get the tux back by midnight though."

Dorothea giggled as the two of them began to talk.

From behind the curtain, Swann saw Dorothea. Right away his eyes went to D'Amour. Valentin spoke to him about Dorothea hiring him. Somehow the plan was all fitting into place. Ever since he read about Pimm's dead nearly a month ago…he knew what had to be done. D'Amour and him planned…even though they had no idea that it would even work. He wanted to show the others, D'Amour, and Dorothea that there was nothing going on. That after all was said and done there would be no reason for Dorothea to be harmed. The end was coming…he could feel it.

Watching Dorothea laugh and talk with D'Amour, his heart ached. He loved her so much…if only she knew this was all her for.

Crew people rushed around as he called for Valentine.

"Valentine!"

Rushing over, he looked at him.

"The man with Dorothea…is that him?"

Valentine nodded before Swann sighed. He knew there was no turning back now.

"Okay…"

Valentine tried to smile at him before stepping away. There one of the crew members listened for the cue before looking at Swann.

"Ready?"

Swann nodded.

"Ready…"

Closing his eyes, he slowly used his power to move up into the air. The crew people watched in amazement.

"How the fuck does he do that?

"Wires man."

"I don't see any wires."

"So what is it…magic?

The two crew members smirked before the lights lowered and the music began.

The show ran smoothly as usual. Like every night, for the past thirteen years it was all the same. The lights, the effects, the dangers. And him…holding the audience in the palm of his hand. It really wasn't magic…it was all an act.

The entire time, his eyes focused on Dorothea, Thinking over and over again that this was all for her.

Finally, the new illusion started.

Dorothea watched as Philip was on a moving table. Slowly it spun back and forth in a perfect circle. Above him were hanging swords. The swords slowly turned back and forth, nearly thirty feet above him. 

"This is a new illusion…"

D'Amour nodded as the music and lights started.

Dorothea watched as the table began to move, everyone on the edge of their seats.

A part of her deep down inside felt so proud. This was her husband…and she knew it was real, He really was amazing…and her love for him still hung on.

Quickly as the music built he unlocked the first shackle that held down his arm. Seconds later as he moved out of the way, the first sword dropped.

Dorothea shut her eyes for a second. Some of his illusions always scared her. This one was the worst. A very funny unsettling feeling entered her as she watched. He then undid the shackle around his neck.

Seconds later the second sword dropped as he moved.

Then…

It happened.

Dorothea knew something was wrong. Either he wasn't moving quick enough, or the swords were working too quick. The third sword dropped and landed right in his arm. Some people gasped as Dorothea felt her heart begin to pound. She saw the look of pain and surprise on her husband's face.

The next sword dropped, far too quickly.

It landed in his leg.

She saw him struggle, trying to free himself as the table moved faster. Dorothea felt as though she was frozen and couldn't move from her seat. D'Amour raised an eyebrow before leaning in close.

"Have you seen this before?"

Dorothea's eyes went wide.

"No…"

Swann cried out as blood splashed up. The next sword went into his other leg. This time he screamed out. Dorothea saw people from the audience begin to scream and turn their heads. This wasn't part of the act…this was real.

"There's something wrong here…"

D'Amour sat up from his seat with Dorothea. Other people stood, gasping and yelling for somebody to help. Crew members in the background raced around trying to reach him.

"Dear God no, not him…"

She thought, watching as the swords stuck out of him.

The next sword into his shoulder, the table spun faster.

The next into his chest. Blood sprayed all over. He cried out, spinning around before almost in slow motion the last sword dropped. Dorothea nearly screamed as it fell on her husband's stomach. He screamed out and then fell limp.

People began throwing up, screaming and rushing to escape their seats. D'Amour held onto her as they pulled forward. The curtain began to lower as the directors and crew members rushed over. Mass panic began to spread.

Dorothea scrambled up on stage, pushing back people before freezing. There on the table laid Philip. Her husband, her love…

The swords stuck out of him, his eyes closed, and blood soaked all over him.

No…she was dreaming, she had to be.

Falling to her knees, she reached out towards him. Valentine was by her side, holding her back. Dorothea struggled. She had to get to him, he couldn't be dead…somebody had to help him.

Looking at his lifeless body, thoughts rushed back to her when she first saw him walk over to her. Nineteen years old and beautiful. Holding her and telling her that she was going to be okay.

No, he couldn't be dead.

"Philip NO!"

She cried as Valentine pulled her back.

"Come away, please Dorothea come away, it's no use."

Pulling her back, she screamed out for her husband.

Being brought into the back room, she sobbed against Valentine's chest. She wanted so badly to run back and shake him. Telling him that this joke wasn't funny and too stop scaring her. Valentine held her down as one of the doctors sedated her.

Being taken away in the limo, carried in Valentine 's arms, she was brought to the police station. 

When she woke, D'Amour was there. The police tried to ask question…but she didn't say anything. She couldn't. They wouldn't understand. D'Amour meanwhile did all the talking.

Being brought away, she waited for Valentine to pick her up. She knew she would have to be sedated again, she couldn't think straight. Tears rushed down her face before D'Amour came over and told her he was sticking around…trying to figure out what happened.

Being brought home, Valentine gave her another pill before taking her to bed. Muttering that she wanted to sleep in Philip's bed, he took her to it. Laying there, she tossed and turned…calling out for her husband.

Images kept coming back over and over again of what happened. Soon, these became nightmares.


	12. Flesh is a trap

_One week later._

A lot of happened since Philip died. D'Amour dug around, trying to track down anyone involved with Swann. He knew this Butterfield had something to do with his death. Dorothea meanwhile stayed silent. She knew Valentine was watching her closely. How could she ever explain to D'Amour that Philip's power was real. That Butterfield and Nix's people are coming out of the woodwork after all this time trying to take revenge. She was scared out of her mind and felt out of control. Here she sat night after night, lonely and unable to understand really what was going on.

Each night she cried herself to sleep. Philip was really gone…

She explained to D'Amour she didn't marry Swann for love. But that was a lie. The fact was, tragedy pulled them apart. She wished she could just have one last chance to see him. To look into his eyes and hold him. To say how sorry she was about everything. She was scared.

Death was coming.

Maybe Nix was coming back…

Remembering that monster made her want to crawl and hide away.

One evening, D'Amour came in with news about Nix. Dorothea leaned against his coffin, crying to herself. What was wrong with her? She felt safe around D'Amour…but what was she doing? Her heart ached knowing Philip, the man who gave her everything, saved her, and loved her was gone.

Tears ran down her face.

What was she going to do if Nix was coming back?

She remembered how tense she was watching him on stage. Swords dropping, blood gushing. Why did she just sit there? Why didn't she help him? Something was going on…something that was like Hell.

D'Amour entered. Dorothea didn't need to turn, she knew it was him. The only person willing to help her. Crying, she looked down at the casket.

"This is the way he wanted it... no autopsy, no embalming. Nobody meddling with his body…" "Flesh is a trap. That's what he used to say. Flesh is a trap and magic sets us free."

Tears began to run down her face, she didn't know who to trust anymore. She missed Swann so badly. She wished he was here now, not laying in this casket she pressed her fingers against.

"Why did you come back?"

"I didn't leave, I was digging around."

"Did…you find anything?"

"Jennifer Desiderio, for one…she threw herself in front of a car today."

Dorothea thought back to Jennifer. Swann spoke fondly about her. She remembered she was one of the teenagers who saved her. She remembered the lonely look in her eyes, watching Swann put his arm around her as a child.

Dorothea began to cry.

All four of them were dead…those who saved her.

"Why don't you tell me the truth?"

Dorothea turned, tears still running down her face.

"Let's go to the study."

Upstairs, she poured herself a drink as D'Amour spoke.

"Nix ran some kind of cult, right? Some kind of Charlie Manson deal?"

"It was more then that I think."

"He was the real thing, right?"

"Swann said he could do stuff, yes."

"Stuff?"

"He could get into people's heads. Make them see things. Terrible things. And he could levitate. Juggle fire."

"He taught all this to Swann?"

"Some of it…"

"So Swann was performing magic. not illusions?"

Dorothea nodded, holding her drink.

"And what? You thought he should be using it to cure cancer, not making millions."

"I told you…"

"Too much fame. Yeah, I guess that'd turn anybody's head. Including yours."

"No…"

"You said you weren't with him for love…"

"I did love him, maybe always did…but I was grateful to him. I owed him my life. And he loved me. He couldn't always show it, but he felt it."

"What happened between you two?"

Dorothea looked down at her hands, holding back tears.

"I was pregnant once…I gave birth to a son but he was stillborn."

D'Amour looked down at his feet.

"I'm sorry…"

"That sort of tore us apart…ever since then we grew apart, that and the fact we knew something was happening, or would one day."

"He thought Nix was coming back, didn't he?"

Dorothea slowly nodded, she didn't know what else to say. Lowering her head she began to cry. D'Amour walked over, putting his arms around her.

"Nothing is going to happen to you, I promise."

"That's what Philip said once…"

D'Amour lifted her head, both locked eyes before D'Amour kissed her.

Closing her eyes, Dorothea knew it was wrong…she didn't want this, but she felt safe. Kissing him back, she fell into his arms.

A few hours later, Dorothea woke up beside D'Amour. Part of her felt guilty about what happened. She wasn't thinking…it happened so fast.

Tears running down her face, she laid there. Wishing none of this had happened. That she could be twelve again, driving in Swann's car and laughing. D'Amour smiled before turning over and looking at her.

Smiling back, they heard a noise downstairs.

Afterwards, Dorothea pulled her robe on. She watched something chase after D'Amour…something that raced through the house. Seeing it for a brief second, she felt something strange inside her.

"Philip?"

And then it was gone.

Valentine screamed at D'Amour as he cracked open Philip's casket. Dorothea stood back, unable to move.

"This is sacrilege!"

Valentine screamed. Just then, the casket opened…there she saw Swann's corpse. Almost falling backwards, she gasped.

"Are you satisfied now?"

"No…"

"What are you doing!"

D'Amour turned around, pulling what seemed to be Swann's jaw in his hands. Pieces of plaster and rubber fell. Dorothea stood back…looking at the body she then knew.

It was a fake.

This entire week, trapped…unable to feel, mourning the only man she knew she would ever love.

He was still alive…

D'Amour turned.

"It looks like you're not a widow after all."

Dorothea then looked at D'Amour and knew what she had done. She had slept with another man out of weakness. She hadn't thought what would happen. Now…Philip was alive.

Upstairs in the study, Valentine explained what had happened. Dorothea sat back…she couldn't speak.

"You rigged the illusion to fail, right?"

Valentine looked down at his hands before shaking his head.

"Yes…"

"You paid off the doctor. You set up the fake body. Yes?"

"Yes…"

"And then... because I was getting too close to something…or someone, you called Swann."

Dorothea lowered her head. She felt ashamed. What had she done?

"I tried to pay you off. "

"It was Swann's idea?"

"No. It was mine. I didn't want any more bloodshed. That's why we went to all this trouble, so there'd be no one for Nix to come after."

"Nix is dead and buried, for fuck's sake."

"Haven't you seen enough to know that doesn't matter?"

D'Amour paced back and forth in the study.

"I want to see Swann face to face."

"Why don't you leave this alone? Let everybody think it's over?"

Dorothea looked up, tears falling from her face."

"What about me?"

"Nix was never interested in you. It was always Swann."

"Maybe Valentin's right. We should let it alone."

Dorothea looked up at D'Amour looking at her.

"He went to all that trouble to be dead. Maybe we should let him stay that way."

Dorothea looked up. Tomorrow would be his funeral. Thousands of people from all over were coming to mour her husband.

What was she going to do?

She wanted to see Swann, so badly it hurt. To throw herself in his arms and tell him that they could just escape together. That D'Amour meant nothing to her and that she loved him.

Sitting there, she began to cry. 


	13. The nightmare begins

Dorothea sat in the back of the limo the next day. Her sunglasses hiding her bloodshot eyes. Sitting there in silence, Valentine drove her home. She wanted to ask him so many things. Why, really why did Swann fake his death? To protect her from Nix and his people? Thinking back at the entire day, it was all a lie. How could she pretend he was dead? She needed to see him. Hold him and say how sorry she was.

Driving up to the mansion, she knew if D'Amour would be back tonight…she would ask him and Valentine to see her husband. She didn't care if she left this all behind. The fame and money meant nothing to her now. All she wanted was to be with him.

Walking inside, she undressed into her silk purple robe and took another pill to sleep. Laying in Philip's huge bed, she closed her eyes and began to think of how good it would be like to see Philip again.

Touching her flat stomach, she remembered when her son grew in there. How badly, she wished things had been different.

Closing her eyes she saw Nix stand before her. His eyes wild as he laughed. Nightmares then came over her of blood, screams, and Butterfield. Shooting up from bed she saw she had been asleep for hours. It was dark out now/

Just then she heard a noise.

"Clemenzia?"

Walking downstairs, she saw how silent the mansion was. Holding herself she went down to the landing.

"Is somebody there?"

Just then, she saw Clemenzia's dead body, laying in a pool of blood.

Before she could react, Valentine jumped out, beaten and bruised. Right away she knew something was wrong. Backing up, she felt her skin crawl.

"I'm sorry…"

Then…

Butterfield jumped up, much older now. Pinning her against the wall he laughed before running his tongue down her neck.

"It's home coming time bitch."

Before she could fight back, he swung out hitting her. Taking both Valentine and her into the desert. When she woke, she was in the backseat with Butterfield. Unable to escape. Valentine drove deeper into the darkness of the desert. Butterfield stared ahead, one eye brown…one eye blue.

"Like the look of these? I made them myself, to set him free. "

Butterfield held up the tools, as Dorothea looked at him.

"Why did you wait so long?"

"I didn't have the skill to resurrect him. I had to teach myself. And that took time.

"And you think he'll be in a fit state to resurrect, after thirteen years?"

"If he was just a man like me, then no. But he's not."

"Then what is he?"

"Maybe he'll show you."

Dorothea felt terrified. She wished D'Amour or Philip would save her. She knew this time if Nix did come back…he would kill her.

An hour later, they parked in the darkness. Valentine had been digging the entire time as the headlights lit up the huge hole he was making. Butterfield kept watch.

Leaning against the car, Dorothea knew she had to escape. Before she could react, Valentine screamed for Butterfield. Looking, she watched as the grown began to shake.

"No…"

She said to herself.

Moments later, Butterfield jumped in the hole as Valentine's screams came out. Dorothea snapped her eyes shut. A few minutes later, Butterfield jumped up. Reaching into the open window, Dorothea grabbed one of Butterfield' tools. Before she could use it, Butterfield grabbed her, head butting her. Passing out…everything became darkness.

When she came to, she thought she was dreaming.

She remembered when she was twelve. Sitting in this room in a dirty white dress, crying and screaming for help. She remembered Quaid, Pimm, Jennifer, and Philip. The gunfire, the screams, and Nix falling to the ground.

She watched as Butterfield took the metal faceplates on. Covering her eyes like she child, she shook. This really was a nightmare. Tears rolling down her eyes, she cried out for Swann. Then…she watched Nix stand. His face was rotting, flesh pressed in from the metal. His entire body gray and torn. His eyes like a wild animal. Butterfield helped him with his robe as he crossed the room.

The cultists stepped forward, crying out in madness.

"Children…"

They gathered around.

"I've come back to share the wisdom of the grave. Will you hear it?"

All of the cultist, now so much older and covered in glass and blood nodded.

"Then follow me…"

Nix then stopped before looking at Dorothea, she felt like a helpless child.

"Do I know you child?"

Dorothea pressed herself against the stone wall.

Then, Nix's wild eyes from Hell lit up.

"Yes…no gun this time child?"

Grabbing onto her hair before she could pull away she screamed.

"Where is Swann?"

Tears ran down her face.

"I…I don't know…"

Grabbing her, he lead her into the other room.

The nightmare…had started again.


	14. Into the dawn

Dorothea raced back to the room where all of this had started. The room where thirteen years ago, they had destroyed Nix. The room where he came back and took his revenge. His cultists were all dead now. He had become powerful…a demon from Hell. Racing in, scared out of her mind she froze.

Philip stood there.

For a brief second she remembered when he was nineteen, standing in the same exact spot. He stood there, terrified facing Nix. His eyes wide. Dorothea then remembered everything…all the things that made her fall in love with him. All of the pain and time was gone. She loved this man. He looked at her, his eyes sad. Dorothea then saw the flicker inside them.

"Wait... you still feel something for that bitch?"

Nix roared. Swann kept looking at Dorothea, remembering when she was just a child.

"Yes…"

"Will! You! Never! Learn!?"

Dorothea watched as Swann was thrown against the wall, being held back by Nix's force. Just then…she watched as he screamed in pain. His bones breaking, his head bleeding.

"She's just flesh, Swannnie-boy. I'll show you!"

Nix moved forward to Dorothea, backing her up against the hole that lead to Hell. Slowly his skin began to change. Black ooze dripping from him.

"Come on, child. I want Swann to see you die!"

Nix's body began to turn into some creature from hell. Hissing, it's long dripping black arms reached for her as she screamed.

Seconds later, D'Amour flew through the air, pushing Nix into the hole. Screams were heard as he fell into the darkness.

Silence.

Dorothea helped D' Amour up before seeing Swann laying against the wall…dying.

"No…"

She whispered running over to him. Knelling by her side, she gathered him up in her arms as he cried. She knew the pain was killing him. Feeling him shake, she tried to sooth him as she rocked back and forth. He was the reason they lived. Holding him, she wanted so badly to tell him how sorry she was. How much she loved him and not to leave him. Looking down at his pale face, she saw tears roll down his eyes.

"Shhh…"

Holding him, she cried before she felt him shake one final time.

Seeing his eyes close…she knew it was finished.

"No…"

D'Amour then grabbed her arm.

"Come on…"

Just then a terrible shaking came through the ground. Laying him down, she ran with him and out into the early dawn.

Moments later there was silence, she knew it was finally finished.

Standing there as the sun slowly began coming up, she held onto D'Amour's hand. There was a peaceful sense in the air. The sky looked beautiful as they stood together. Softy the wind blew as Dorothea felt tears roll down her eyes.

"Flesh is a trap…and magic sets us free."

D'Amour held onto her hand.

"Come on…let's go."

Walking together as the sun went up, Dorothea knew even though it was over with. Her one true love was finally one. All of this had been to protect her. And now here she was…wishing she was dead.

Once they got into one of the cars, they began driving. D'Amour's face bleeding. Dorothea sat there, looking out the window as more tears fell.

"Philip…"

She softly said.


	15. Set me free

_Dorothea and D'Amour sat in the parked car together. It was a little after seven in the morning, and the entire city of Los Angeles seemed still. Sitting there, looking up the long driveway to the mansion, Dorothea burst into tears. Reaching over, D'Amour put his arm around her as she wept._

"_Shhh, it's gonna be okay…"_

_Dorothea shook her head._

"_It won't, it never will be."_

_D'Amour lifted Dorothea's head before looking her straight in the eye. The blood on his face was now drying._

"_Listen, you didn't do anything wrong…you don't have to be afraid anymore."_

_Leaning in to kiss her, Dorothea pulled away._

"_No, please…"_

_D'Amour paused for a second sighing before looking at her._

"_You still loved him, didn't you?"_

_Dorothea looked over, her eyes bloodshot._

"_It was a mistake, I'm so sorry…I was just so upset and you seemed like the only person that cared."_

_D'Amour looked at her, his eyes still friendly but having a serious understanding about what she meant. She knew D'Amour cared for her…he wouldn't be here if he didn't. But her heart still ached. She couldn't love another man…not as long as she lived._

_Slowly nodding, he softly smiled._

"_Okay…"_

"_I'm so sorry…"_

_He shook his head."_

"_Don't be, your alive and that's all that matters."_

_Smiling at him, she went into his arms and breathed deeply. She wished she could have Philip back. More then anything right now, all she wanted as to see him and make this awful pain go away. Laying against D'Amour, she stared up at her mansion as birds faintly sang in the distance._

_Two weeks later._

There was a police investigation. Clemenzia body was taken away and questions were asked. Valentine was a suspect, and finally put down as a missing person. D'Amour handled mostly everything until it a closed case. Nobody ever found Nix's place in the desert, nor Philip's body.

One rainy afternoon, D'Amour sat down in the living room. Looking over paperwork as Dorothea walked over, a drink in her hand. The last two weeks she hadn't really had a chance to focus on what really happened. To finally live without fear. D'Amour had been busy with the police and now things were settled. She could now live her life in peace. 

D'Amour had been by her side the entire time. He had now grown into a close friend of hers and made sure she was okay. Dorothea knew she would never be able to repay him for everything he did. In many ways, he had been the one to save her…and stop Nix for good. He had a room of his own in the house, and was planning on returning to New York soon. Dorothea felt guilty about what happened between the two of them. But he understood, he made sure she had her space and didn't hold any hard feelings. He knew her relationship with Philip had been a rough one, and now she was really alone. After thirteen long years she now had to face the future alone. It was her choice…but she knew it was the right one.

Dorothea even offered for him to stay. D'Amour smiled, saying he had a life in New York he couldn't leave behind. And now after seeing the things he did…he felt stronger that he could face his fears and move on in life. They did promise to visit each other. Dorothea said she would fly out to New York later that winter if he would come back next spring. Both felt safe with each other and knew being friends were better.

D'Amour even told her about his wife who died a few years ago. How she was on her way to file for divorce when she got into a car wreck. He explained that even though they seemed to hate each other, he still hadn't fully gotten over her death. Dorothea somehow knew what he meant. This awful aching inside her heart whenever she thought of Philip…might never go away for good.

D'Amour planned to leave at the end of the month. Until then, the two of them stayed inside the mansion. Trying to make each other laugh, and move on from these painful memories.

Sitting beside D'Amour, Dorothea smiled.

"Everything in line?"

D'Amour nodded before looking up at the mantle above the fireplace.

"That your wedding photo?"

Dorothea glanced up before smiling. Her grief had been numbed the last week or so between drinking and taking more then enough pills to keep her still through the night. Dreams still came of Philip, the sad flicker in his eyes before he was killed. Telling Nix he still loved her.

She cried a lot, but made sure D'Amour wouldn't see her.

She wished this Hell she was trapped in would just go away. Maybe, just maybe it would have been better of she died too. Setting her drink down, Dorothea got up and took the photo.

"It's really an album, see?"

Dorothea sat down beside D'Amour before opening it up.

The first photo was taken only a week after they met each other. Valentine had taken it a few days after they came into Los Angeles. The photo was of Swann with his arms around her, both smiling and laughing. Looking at the photo, Dorothea sighed. They were so young back then…

The next couple were mostly of Swann, herself, and Valentine. Dorothea had taken pages worth of photos of Swann at nightclubs and small gigs around the city. Passing through a few more, it showed them now getting older. Still looking just in love and unable to keep their hands off each other. Thirteen whole years all kept in one single album. Thousands of memories all there. Finally she turned the photo to the ultrasound photo of their baby. Sighing she pointed.

"That was our son…"

D'Amour looked down.

"Did you name him?"

Dorothea slowly nodded.

"Atticus…Philip loved that name."

Holding back tears, she flipped through a few more, most of them from their wedding. Finally the pages went blank. After the baby died, the happy memories seemed to have faded away. Now what she saw was lost time. Time she could of spent with Philip…trying to rebuild their marriage. Finally closing the album she wiped a tear away before looking at D'Amour.

"Did you have any children?"

D'Amour shook his head.

"That's the reason my wife and I were getting a divorce, I wanted kids…she didn't."

Sighing, Dorothea ran her fingers over the cover of the album, the photograph of Philip and her on their wedding day. Smiling and holding each other.

"I really don't know how I'm going to deal with this, I mean the first time…it didn't hurt as much, maybe I knew it wasn't true…deep down inside."

D'Amour's arms went around her as she contorled herself. Sighing she glanced out the window and saw rain falling on the gray overcast day.

"I guess it finally dawned on me how much I really loved him after he was gone…"

Shutting her eyes, Dorothea began to weep. D'Amour held her. Finally she opened her eyes. She wished they had taken his body with them, she wished she could just see him one last time. Knowing this was her life…a long never ending road of darkness, she wished she had died. Looking up at D'Amour, she knew there was a chance to start over. To stop pushing him away and just let life take her in that direction. But she didn't love him like she loved Philip. This love was more of a friendship, She felt safe around D'Amour, but knew being with him wouldn't be fair. For the rest of her life she would always think about Philip. How much time she wasted, and how she had always loved him. Tears running down her face, she sighed.

"It never goes away, not even when I sleep…everything reminds me about him."

"Then come to New York with me."

Dorothea raised an eyebrow.

"Huh?"

"Come to New York…"

Dorothea shook her head.

"Harry…"

"No, not like that…we can take care of each other in a different way, God knows we've been though enough…get a fresh start, away from all of this." "Take some time to grieve, to be away from this place…to start over."

Dorothea looked down. Part of her knew D'Amour was making sense. Maybe some time away would be for the best. She had only been to New York a few times, always with Philip. Pausing, she took a deep breath. Maybe she needed time to start over. She was only twenty-five but felt much older. Thinking about a life without Swann, it hurt her deeply. She knew wherever she went, how many miles away…the memories would still be there.

Slowly getting up from the couch, she shook her head.

"I need time to think about it."

"Get back to me at the end of the week, if you decide to come I'll call the airline."

Nodding, Dorothea turned away before going upstairs to rest. She needed another pill to numb her from this awful pain. Going into the bedroom, she shut the door and felt dizzy. Tears rushed down her face before she held herself.

She wanted him back so badly…

She couldn't go on without him.

After another pill, she crawled into bed and found that the sheets smelled like him. His cologne and cigars. Resting her head against the pillows, she found this scent comforting. Looking out the window as the sky became dark, she heard rain drops hitting the glass. Laying there in the bed they had made love thousands of times, the bed where they made their son, the bed in which she returned to after he was gone. Laying there, she looked around. Yesterday she walked into his closet and began sobbing looking at all his things. Laying there, she shut her eyes, wishing the pain would just go away.

She remembered something that happened only a few months ago. Even though they were barley speaking, she remembered standing in the kitchen at night. Unable to sleep. He then came down, dressed in his robe before joining her. The two sat side by side, talking into the night and sipping coffee. Before they went back up to their own bedrooms, he looked straight into her face, brushing her hair away and softly kissing her.

Remembering that kiss made her fall deeper into her sleep.

"Dorothea…"

Dorothea opened her eyes before looking around. It was night now, she had been asleep for a few hours.

"Harry?"

She called out, but there was no answer. Looking around the darkness of her bedroom…she felt a strange chill. Slipping out of bed, putting her silk robe around her, she stepped up and felt her bare feet against the soft carpet. Walking over to the doors that lead to the balcony. She looked out. It was still raining out. Opening the doors, she walked out and looked down at the darkness of the pool. Rain hit it like glass. Standing there, she shut her eyes, enjoying as the rainwater fell on her soft skin.

"Dorothea…"

She then felt a hand on her shoulder. Pausing, she kept her eyes shut. She knew this had to be a dream. Pausing, she waited to wake up…finally she turned. There stood Philip, looking just as he did the day he died. His beautiful blue eyes gazing at her as the rain fell on both of them. Dorothea thought she would wake up and prayed she wouldn't…still she stood there looking at him.

"Is…this a dream?"

Swann smiled, the smile he used to flash her whenever he was on stage. Moving closer, his hands touched her face and held it. Dorothea nearly sighed…she had yearning to feel his touch ever since she watched the swords fall on him weeks ago. Shutting her eyes, she felt her insides shake. His tender and soft touch made her numb body feel alive. All of the pain and confusion she had felt over the last month drifted away. He was here with her and everything was going to be okay. She remembered the feeling she got whenever she thought of him at twelve years old. Feeling as though…

She could fly.

Slowly they began to rise a few feet above the ground, the rain falling down on them. Dorothea opened her eyes and saw they were floating. Laughing, she held onto him as he smiled. Tears mixed with rain.

"I'm so sorry Philip…I never meant to hurt you…"

"Shhh…"

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. Holding onto him, her arms went around his neck as she moaned.

With a breathless gasp, she said…

"I love you so much…"

He pressed his forehead against hers, both locking eyes and smiling.

"I thought you were dead…"

"I'm free from my trap, I'm finally free."

"Don't leave me…"

She begged, running her hands through his still beautiful hair. Swann smiled holding her tighter as they raised. 

"It's over my love, it's really all over."

"Take me with you, please…I can't go on without you."

"Yes you can, your stronger then me."

Dorothea shook her head.

"I don't love Harry like I love you…I'm so sorry, please don't leave me."

"You have your entire life ahead of you…"

She shook her head again, fighting off tears as her hair and skin became soaked.

"Not without you, please…"

She now saw that Philip was crying as he held onto her.

"I've always loved you, and now your safe to live your life…"

Dorothea clutched onto him, her heart beating fast.

"I don't care about any of that…I need you with me."

Kissing him again, she shut her eyes as they went into the night sky. She didn't care if she fell to her death, right now he was with her and that was all that mattered.

"Set me free Philip…please…"

Slowly they began to lower again, until Dorothea felt the ground touch her feet. Both stood there in each other's arms before Philip closed his eyes. Raising his hands, both went over Dorothea and his own body. Within the blink of an eye…Dorothea looked down at herself.

She was twelve years old, just as she used to be.

He was nineteen, smiling down at her.

She couldn't believe it. Looking down at herself, she was speechless. Swann stepped forward, his arms around her tiny waist before smiling.

"That's the end of magic…"

"Now set us free…"

She whispered. Slowly she closed her eyes and everything became comforting. She dreamed she was flying up with her husband. Hand in hand. Through the sparking stars before they found someplace in the desert. Someplace where they could be together forever.


	16. The end of magic

D'Amour woke the next morning in his bedroom. Laying there, he looked around and found how peaceful and silent the house seemed. Getting out of bed and pulling on a pair of pants, he eyed his packed suitcases. He knew Dorothea would never go with him. He loved her, but like she said in a different way. They were worlds apart, and she still loved Swann…even though death. He knew his work here was over, he would fly back to New York and try to keep discovering the secrets of the world. Somehow he felt better about himself after the things that had happened here. He felt as though, there really was good in the world.

Getting up, he went down the hallway and saw Dorothea's bedroom door was shut. He had been worrying about her lately. He knew she was taking pills, and wanted to check if she was all right. Lightly knocking on the door he waited.

"Dorothea?"

Silence.

Slowly opening the door, he found the room empty. The bed looked as through it was slept in, but nobody was around. Seeing the doors that lead to the balcony was open…the fresh smell of rain filled the room. He heard birds singing outside, getting ready for another beautiful day. Walking over he somehow knew something had happened.

"Dorothea?"

Stopping, he looked down and saw a piece of paper in Dorothea's hand writing.

_D'Amour,_

_I can never thank you enough for what you have done. I think your one of the few people who truly believes that there is another world under the surface. A world that can destroy, and create you. I'm now someplace free with my love, someplace when we were young and safe. Maybe that's what heaven really is…being set free._

_Love,_

_Dorothea and Philip Swann._

D'Amour looked over the letting before looking out the window and smiling.

Shortly before leaving for his flight, he stopped by the cemetery and found a certain grave he had been looking for.

_Atticus Swann_

_1989_

_Set free by magic_

Sighing, he kneeled down by the grave. Looking up at the beautiful sun going through the palm trees, D'Amour put his sunglasses on and smiled before getting up.

"Flesh is a trap…and magic sets us free."

The end.

- Thanks for anyone who reads or reviews this story. Lord Of Illusions is by far one of my all time favorite movies ever. I thought it was fitting to fill in the gaps between Swann and Dorothea over the years. I hope you enjoyed it and look out for future work of mine!


End file.
